Presidential debate highlights: FRIDAY

Two presidential debates have happened in the past five days, none of which you watched. But I did, and then I transcribed and paraphrased them for a series of epic posts to come. We are trying to make this campaign somewhat amusing after it has been dubbed “REVEL IN THE REASONABLENESS”…so first up, FRIDAY!

(You can follow along by watching a very informative 30-minute video—and exploring the candidates interviews—here.) Otherwise, it’s on to

FRIDAY FRIDAY learning about your very similar approaches to governance on FRIDAY

AJ was asked by Brian, Cranky Old Man in Training and moderator, to expand on the “essay” she’s written justifying a Presidential run with no Council experience. AJ maintained that her leadership experience and development skills are the important qualification, not time on Council. But then she summed up the race as a whole: 

But only one can be the AMS’s boyfriend. Er, girlfriend. Sorry, we forgot about your difference.

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Asked how they’d combat the War on Fun, engage student interest in AMS Events, and what level of subsidy they’d like to see for the same, candidates uniformly talked about that catch-all phrase, “student engagement.” But we appreciated Matt’s call-out to Arts County Fair, the last real party on campus, and how ACF engaged with students: 

That moment of absolute truth, taken in combination with Matt’s proposal of a promotions team for events, made his answer the strongest. He’s also the only candidate to reference the seamy past of Arshy Mann, Ubyssey Web Editor.

Legend has it, he was naked. Arshy, that is, not Matt. [For the story about when Matt was naked, you’ll have to stay tuned! no, seriously. he told this story.]

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At one point, for five whole seconds, Ben Cappellacci stopped being his perfect, sex god meme of a self and forgot how to say ‘coordinating.’

Coming up next on So You Think You Can President we have hilarious quotes from Tuesday! So many good ones, we can hardly contain ourselves. Find out what they would do on a date with the AMS, and more! (Yes, there are answers involved that range from virginal freshmen to octogenarians*).

This post was written by Kai, who actually transcribed all of these god damn debates and will use her hard-earned 1.5 cents from each student to pay for her pending carpal tunnel.

*[Editor’s note: Taylor lost in the spelling bee finals when she was younger by misspelling “octogenarian” and has been looking for an excuse to use it ever since]

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