Category Archives: SUS Elections

UBC Votes Gets More Hilarious as Candidates Get More Desperate

Here’s your mid-week update on all the entertaining pieces of this extremely, extremely boring election. Seriously, candidates hooking up with each other last election (with photographic evidence to boot!) was so much more entertaining.

Last post, we lamented the fact that there are no black people in student politics. Apparently we were wrong. Enter Harsev Oshan, a student from Kenya running to be VP Student Life for the AUS. His campaign is eerily similar to Mike Moll’s as he takes pictures of his “I AM AUSOME” sign, instead of “I CAME TO LEAD.”

no doctoring necessary.

Reinforcing absolutely no stereotypes whatsoever, he released this video under the username “harsizzle” about why you should vote for him. Lyrics include “king of the jungle” (because he’s from Kenya, get it?) and something about how he will inject flava to the AUS. Props to these girls, because it probably took them forever to write this.

Speaking of videos, the AUS Presidential Debate video is now online, along with the two AMS rep videos we couldn’t stay awake through. In his final statement, Justin Yang offers up the metaphor of marriage:

When you have a wedding, you have something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue. I represent that. I’m something old, I’ve been here for four years. But I’m something new, the AUS is new to me. I’ve only been here for a year and that’s not enough. I’m something borrowed, because I was a part of SUS before I became part of the AUS. And I’m something blue, because I was part of SUS. But that’s behind me.

This is my promise to commit to the AUS. The AUS to me is not the other woman, this is my proposal. I’m coming in, and I’d really like to make the AUS my first love.

Arash replied with “I’ve been married to Arts since first year,” so we’re not sure how Sumedha is feeling right about now…

Meanwhile, in Poster Heaven, our own resident RobotBoy has possibly the cutest poster ever! Anyone that has “Our Tallest Senator Yet!” with a paragraph about his signature prep style just wins our hearts over again and again. Click to enlarge!

VOTE 4 _US

UBC Votes is kicking off Monday, and you have until Fridaaayy Fridayyyy to vote. You also get to vote for who you want to get some moniez for how they covered the elections. Here is why you should vote for us:

The MS-Paint-splattered brainchild of local twittebrity @taylorloren and angry coffee wench @queigh, @AMSConfidential shook up the AMS elections and captured the hearts & minds of hacks. Often-imitated but never surpassed, from day one we’ve brought the sparkle rainbow jams—hard-hitting, n00b-friendly coverage of news, made extra-sexy—and we just keep getting better.  As we prepare to take on UBC VOTES-TRAVAGANZA, we pledge to uphold our devastatingly high standards, delivering only the freshest dope and the dopest shit to your RSS feed. Also, we have unicorns.

Now, onto some srs bsns after the jump.

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Voting for Sexy Candidates is Sexy.

Let’s face it: looks matter. Attractive people succeed in life. Just knowing that Kai and Taylor are extremely attractive individuals is probably enough to get you to read this blog. Their shear hilarity and awesomeness gets you coming back with every post.

Enter myself, Gossip Guy, into the fold, and holy shit, you’re probably checking this site more than twitter and facebook combined. Yeah, I’m vain like that. Deal with it.
There are some sparkle-tastic sexy candidates this year. Choosing solely and purely on looks, who would the Confidential pick? Only the ones that fit our extremely strict guidelines. Sometimes it’s fashion that tickles our fancy, other times it’s someone’s adorableness that fancies our tickle. First up…. Arts.

"oh hai"

Ryan Trasolini

He’s the definition of smarmy. He was the one out there in front of every event, looking awfully cold, handing out his fantastic yellow business cards. That has to be a few sparkle points and a gold star or two in the Unicorn Championships.

Fact is, the man is bold. He can be in your face. He’s not afraid to take chances, just like his seafoam green shirt in the picture. He’s quite adorable and cute, which is evened out by his obviously cheesey/sleazy behaviour.

Ryan Trasolini – we approve. Of everything. Except for that shirt. I fucking hate that colour.

YEAH YOU WANT TO READ MORE.

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Partial Results Wholly Unsatisfying

…if you know what we mean.
PARTY’S OFF, EVERYBODY GO HOME.

After $60,000 from Arts alone (and that uneven funding is a whole ‘nother story) spent on booze, booze, and Said the Whale, UBC VOTES is ready to announce the results of their efforts.   Er, kind of.  See, the longer elections go on, the clearer it’s becoming that this election is bound to reinforce the status quo.  Let’s look at some of the goals we had going into this.  Was there an upturn in student involvement?
Well, according to Sir SUS (EA Lougheed)… no.  (But there’s so much else to celebrate!)

and then we all held hands and sang 'kumbaya'

Oh. Well. Was there a new sense of excitement surrounding constituency politics?
…um, well, Eleven’Eleven” said some really nice things.  But most students still have a predictable reaction:

someone call the 'wah'mbulance

I see. How about we just find out who won, then?—ah, but as it turns out, we won’t be getting that either.

The registrar’s office has, apparently, bucked at the notion of having to provide a list of student numbers of online voters on Friday.  EAs may protest, but to no avail—the registrars have deadlines, too, and they’re not giving it up until after the weekend.  This means that the paper ballots cast can’t be counted (because double votes can’t be eliminated) until Monday.  Meanwhile, “partial results” (aka web ballots + Epic Math) will be announced tonight, but we’re assuming that the number of paper ballots (est. 25% of those cast)—and, thus, the margin of error—will still be rather high.

So what went wrong?  Well, for one thing, this whole UBCVOTES thing—cool as it is—was rather last-minute.  Hopefully next year’s committee, should they decide to keep the partnership alive, will start planning earlier & make use of now-existing infrastructure.

Secondly, events (& voting) were heavily promoted online, but given the nature of the hack facebook community (so insular, NASA’s using it to keep astronauts warm! ba-dump-ching), this may not have been the best strategy.  Perhaps, next year, a better physical presence? We hear the SUB is good for that.

i'll kick it with your funky bunch

Thirdly, the elections committee was forced to use WebVote at the last minute, rather than the hackable AMS Elections voting system, although, again, the availability of (alternative) paper balloting was limited at best.  In conjunction with this, we’d strongly—strongly—recommend a more comprehensive volunteers program, possibly with a talented, dedicated volunteers coordinator.

On a positive note, what went right?  Well, we’re totally impressed by the dedication of the entire elections committee.  Lots of love for former Confidentialite Taylor Loren, whose voice was apparent in a lot of the official emails we got (even though they were e-signed by the EAs) and who was a vivacious and visible presence throughout the events/voting process, from tweets to butts in seats.  The events were expensive, yes, and not too effective, but they were way way bomb.com.  MoA is a kick-ass venue, y’all.  Everyone who went to the parties had a lot of fun (and there’s photographic evidence if you know where to look).  Drink tickets got handed out like fuckin’ confetti.  And hey, pancakes!

But we’re still mulling over one question: will all these sexy parties be enough to prevent the largest candidate case of blue balls, like, ever??

that looks... painful. (image c/o trucknutz)

News for Noobs

We here at Sexy R Us Confidential have been looking for a third editor to spice things up, give us neck rubs when needed, and lighten our loads a bit so we don’t fail out of university.

We’re pleased to announce a VFM marriage of sorts, with the addition of our new editor, AMS Gossip Guy himself.

GG will post more on himself at a later date.

Hillson, we still love you.

On to some sad, sad news.

Unfortunately, glitter extremist and twittebrity Taylor will be leaving Confidential until constituency elections are over. She has joined forces with Chairman Naylor as part of the AUS Elections Committee and wicked awesome ubcvotes.ca team…it’s pretty hard to compete with that sexy Chairman, especially now with his dashing new smile. Oh, and his deep pockets.

Now on to some happy, happy news.

VFM IS BACK! Or, so says this tweet. We’re stoked to have you all voting for us again & again & again and promise to bring you some delicious content on everything scandalous in AUS, EUS, HKUS, and SUS elections!! Check our events page for all the events and remember to follow our Twitter.