Tag Archives: arash ehteshami

UBC Votes Gets More Hilarious as Candidates Get More Desperate

Here’s your mid-week update on all the entertaining pieces of this extremely, extremely boring election. Seriously, candidates hooking up with each other last election (with photographic evidence to boot!) was so much more entertaining.

Last post, we lamented the fact that there are no black people in student politics. Apparently we were wrong. Enter Harsev Oshan, a student from Kenya running to be VP Student Life for the AUS. His campaign is eerily similar to Mike Moll’s as he takes pictures of his “I AM AUSOME” sign, instead of “I CAME TO LEAD.”

no doctoring necessary.

Reinforcing absolutely no stereotypes whatsoever, he released this video under the username “harsizzle” about why you should vote for him. Lyrics include “king of the jungle” (because he’s from Kenya, get it?) and something about how he will inject flava to the AUS. Props to these girls, because it probably took them forever to write this.

Speaking of videos, the AUS Presidential Debate video is now online, along with the two AMS rep videos we couldn’t stay awake through. In his final statement, Justin Yang offers up the metaphor of marriage:

When you have a wedding, you have something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue. I represent that. I’m something old, I’ve been here for four years. But I’m something new, the AUS is new to me. I’ve only been here for a year and that’s not enough. I’m something borrowed, because I was a part of SUS before I became part of the AUS. And I’m something blue, because I was part of SUS. But that’s behind me.

This is my promise to commit to the AUS. The AUS to me is not the other woman, this is my proposal. I’m coming in, and I’d really like to make the AUS my first love.

Arash replied with “I’ve been married to Arts since first year,” so we’re not sure how Sumedha is feeling right about now…

Meanwhile, in Poster Heaven, our own resident RobotBoy has possibly the cutest poster ever! Anyone that has “Our Tallest Senator Yet!” with a paragraph about his signature prep style just wins our hearts over again and again. Click to enlarge!

VOTE 4 _US

UBC Votes is kicking off Monday, and you have until Fridaaayy Fridayyyy to vote. You also get to vote for who you want to get some moniez for how they covered the elections. Here is why you should vote for us:

The MS-Paint-splattered brainchild of local twittebrity @taylorloren and angry coffee wench @queigh, @AMSConfidential shook up the AMS elections and captured the hearts & minds of hacks. Often-imitated but never surpassed, from day one we’ve brought the sparkle rainbow jams—hard-hitting, n00b-friendly coverage of news, made extra-sexy—and we just keep getting better.  As we prepare to take on UBC VOTES-TRAVAGANZA, we pledge to uphold our devastatingly high standards, delivering only the freshest dope and the dopest shit to your RSS feed. Also, we have unicorns.

Now, onto some srs bsns after the jump.

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The 2011 Sparkle Surveys: Part 1

For all other blogs, today’s endorsement day. For us, it’s make up your own damn mind day, otherwise known as our rad video endorsements ran out of batteries. we’re workin’ on it. In the meantime, sweet readers, set the lights to low and imagine we’re whispering in your ear.

‘Cause baby, let’s not deny this thing between us: You’re Kurt Hummel, and I’m that Blaine hottie from the super-tolerant boys’ school, and it’s cold outside. Join me for a heartwarming duet, and let’s snuggle up to these fiery candidates as we bring back, smoother than late-night jazz, the first of our Classic Confidential Surveys.

Filipino/Irish. CATHOLIC DREAMBOAAAAAAAT

Highlights from this edition: MOTHERFUCKING SEAN HEISLER brings it (again), Justin Yang tells us how he really feel about Issues That Matter, Arash Ehteshami really wants your love, and two (2) candidates open up about their Gossip Girl-themed nicknames. Plus, a kitty! Who says we never bring the real news?

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Liveblogging is Overated, Anyways @ CiTR Debates One

If you weren’t listening to CiTR 101.9 today or don’t read the Minimalist Owl Blog because it may/may not hurt your “Arts student” eyes , then you might have missed the first of many (and sometimes simultaneous) debates of this election. Well, do we have a treat for you!

Yeah, that's what I said, too

Yeah, that's what I said, too

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People Who May or May Not Run

AMS Elections are currently a shitshow, and they haven’t even started yet.

  1. Nominations close on Friday and there is no AMS Elections website. Maybe if they advertised we wouldn’t have three slates of people who are always involved?
  2. There is no schedule of events anywhere…debates? Beer garden? Anything?
  3. There are also no elections dates or campaigning dates posted anywhere except on the Facebook page, which ~50 people like and hasn’t been updated since November (same with Twitter).
  4. There is no VFM funding right now and elections are about to start!
  5. Oh, and NO ONE KNOWS WHAT VOTING SYSTEM WE ARE USING.

The Elections budget is approximately $50,000. Isn’t there a little referendum coming up that has to do with fiscal responsibility? We get that the EA is probably working on the new online voting system, but he has also hired four co-ordinators to help him, and it’s THREE DAYS before elections start.

Anyway, we are coping by giving you GOSSIP. Hot Gossip.

At the end of the day, candidates are supposed to be running individually and not as part of a slate (fancy way of saying political party). Except this year, there are Three Groups Who Are Not A Slate.

  1. The Frat Boys and Token Sorority Girl (Bijan’s picks to continue his legacy of UBC’s Got Talent)
  2. The Incumbents (the political hacks who think they can change the world with the AMS)
  3. The SJC/Knollies (the people who only care about the AMS when something pisses them off)

With that in mind, we give you the gossip!

The Frat Boys and Token Sorority Girl

President: Michael Moll is Alpha Delta Phi and part of the CUS, from Kenya, and shows up to AMS Council occasionally.

VP Academic: Matt Parson is Phi Delta Theta, the President of the Inter Fraternity Council at UBC (which EA Erik Mackinnon sits on), and is probably the hottest of all the candidates running. [Though some of our editors are on record as disagreeing.]

VP External: Katherine Tyson (isn’t technically in a sorority, she was too sick to rush this year) has been on AMS Council for a year and a half and is the Chair of UnECoRn, the committee that deals with things in the VPX’s portfolio. Was known this year for being rather antagonistic to Bijan—right until elections season rolled around. What gives, KT? We were way into your powerful woman schtick.

VP Finance: Arash Ehteshami is Kappa Sigma, the VP Internal of the AUS, and dating the President of SUS.

VP Administration: Mike Silley is Sigma Chi, has been on AMS Council for a long time, and is the Chair of BAFCOM, the committee that deals with AMS Businesses.

The Incumbents/Hacks

President: Jeremy McElroy is the current VP External, former AUS/RBF guy who hearts the AMS.

VP Academic: Justin Yang is the current VP Finance of AUS, former VP Finance of SUS, former Student Senator, and is the current AMS Tutoring co-ordinator.

VP External: Mitch Wright  is the current Associate VP External, former elections administrator, former AUS dude and all around hack.

VP Finance: Elin Tayyar is Beta Theta Pi, the current VP Finance, former SAC Vice-Chair, and last year’s hottest candidate.

VP Admin: A BLACK SHEEP. Er, dark horse?

The SJC/Knollies

They keep their Facebook profiles quite limited, unfortunately. Why do these people have no overly involved student profiles?! We’ll give you more details as we learn them.

President: Gord Katic is a kid we met off of Twitter who is a part of the SJC. He’s incredibly verbose. That’s all we know.

VP Academic: Omar Shaban is part of SPHR whose passion in life is “a secular Palestinian state where anybody regardless of his/her religion or race can live.” Awwwww!

VP External: Rory Breasail has been on AMS Council for nine months, and sits on the UnECoRn committee. He is also part of the SJC.

VP Finance: Arielle Friedman (also known as Care-ielle?!?) is part of the SJC, and a frequent contributor to The Knoll.

Other

There’s some random guy from RezLife at Totem who is also probably running for VP Finance, and a rumoured FIFTH candidate that we don’t know about.

Things to bitch about: We’ve only heard of ONE candidate for VP Admin, so if there’s any of you who like SUB/Clubs, you should run…the more the merrier! There’s also an extreme lack of women running, with only TWO femmes fatale garnering for your votes. Oh, and no joke candidates? Where is Princess Leia, Kommander Keg, the Invisible Man, or Water Fountain?

BoG: Sean Heisler (current BoAwesome), Andrew Carne (hacktastic engineer), Sean Cregten (current Associate VP Academic)

Senate: Thomas Brennan, Sean Cregten, AJ Hajir Hajian, <insert ten other random students here, five of whom will drop out within the first week>.

Nominations close on Friday!