Have another reason why? Leave it in the comments.
AMS Elections are set to begin Monday at 12:01am, but this little editor needs to get to bed and is posting a couple hours early. We’ve posted the candidates list, and surprise! Someone has already withdrawn.To see all the craziness happening next week, check out our events page. And hey, might as well vote for us to win some money in the future, too.
Meanwhile, enjoy the following snapshots from the All Candidates Meeting that took place on Friday. The biggest surprise to us? Ben “The Situation” Cappellacci throwing his hat into the ring for Board of Governors at last minute. If you’re interested, other blogs have more indepth or plagiarized rambly coverage, we’re too busy compiling results from our Sparkly Surveys 2011. Yes, that’s right, we’re bringing them back.
AMS Elections are currently a shitshow, and they haven’t even started yet.
- Nominations close on Friday and there is no AMS Elections website. Maybe if they advertised we wouldn’t have three slates of people who are always involved?
- There is no schedule of events anywhere…debates? Beer garden? Anything?
- There are also no elections dates or campaigning dates posted anywhere except on the Facebook page, which ~50 people like and hasn’t been updated since November (same with Twitter).
- There is no VFM funding right now and elections are about to start!
- Oh, and NO ONE KNOWS WHAT VOTING SYSTEM WE ARE USING.
The Elections budget is approximately $50,000. Isn’t there a little referendum coming up that has to do with fiscal responsibility? We get that the EA is probably working on the new online voting system, but he has also hired four co-ordinators to help him, and it’s THREE DAYS before elections start.
Anyway, we are coping by giving you GOSSIP. Hot Gossip.
At the end of the day, candidates are supposed to be running individually and not as part of a slate (fancy way of saying political party). Except this year, there are Three Groups Who Are Not A Slate.
- The Frat Boys and Token Sorority Girl (Bijan’s picks to continue his legacy of UBC’s Got Talent)
- The Incumbents (the political hacks who think they can change the world with the AMS)
- The SJC/Knollies (the people who only care about the AMS when something pisses them off)
With that in mind, we give you the gossip!
The Frat Boys and Token Sorority Girl
President: Michael Moll is Alpha Delta Phi and part of the CUS, from Kenya, and shows up to AMS Council occasionally.
VP Academic: Matt Parson is Phi Delta Theta, the President of the Inter Fraternity Council at UBC (which EA Erik Mackinnon sits on), and is probably the hottest of all the candidates running. [Though some of our editors are on record as disagreeing.]
VP External: Katherine Tyson (isn’t technically in a sorority, she was too sick to rush this year) has been on AMS Council for a year and a half and is the Chair of UnECoRn, the committee that deals with things in the VPX’s portfolio. Was known this year for being rather antagonistic to Bijan—right until elections season rolled around. What gives, KT? We were way into your powerful woman schtick.
VP Finance: Arash Ehteshami is Kappa Sigma, the VP Internal of the AUS, and dating the President of SUS.
VP Administration: Mike Silley is Sigma Chi, has been on AMS Council for a long time, and is the Chair of BAFCOM, the committee that deals with AMS Businesses.
President: Jeremy McElroy is the current VP External, former AUS/RBF guy who hearts the AMS.
VP Academic: Justin Yang is the current VP Finance of AUS, former VP Finance of SUS, former Student Senator, and is the current AMS Tutoring co-ordinator.
VP External: Mitch Wright is the current Associate VP External, former elections administrator, former AUS dude and all around hack.
VP Finance: Elin Tayyar is Beta Theta Pi, the current VP Finance, former SAC Vice-Chair, and last year’s hottest candidate.
VP Admin: A BLACK SHEEP. Er, dark horse?
They keep their Facebook profiles quite limited, unfortunately. Why do these people have no overly involved student profiles?! We’ll give you more details as we learn them.
President: Gord Katic is a kid we met off of Twitter who is a part of the SJC. He’s incredibly verbose. That’s all we know.
VP Academic: Omar Shaban is part of SPHR whose passion in life is “a secular Palestinian state where anybody regardless of his/her religion or race can live.” Awwwww!
VP External: Rory Breasail has been on AMS Council for nine months, and sits on the UnECoRn committee. He is also part of the SJC.
VP Finance: Arielle Friedman (also known as Care-ielle?!?) is part of the SJC, and a frequent contributor to The Knoll.
There’s some random guy from RezLife at Totem who is also probably running for VP Finance, and a rumoured FIFTH candidate that we don’t know about.
Things to bitch about: We’ve only heard of ONE candidate for VP Admin, so if there’s any of you who like SUB/Clubs, you should run…the more the merrier! There’s also an extreme lack of women running, with only TWO femmes fatale garnering for your votes. Oh, and no joke candidates? Where is Princess Leia, Kommander Keg, the Invisible Man, or Water Fountain?
BoG: Sean Heisler (current BoAwesome), Andrew Carne (hacktastic engineer), Sean Cregten (current Associate VP Academic)
Senate: Thomas Brennan, Sean Cregten, AJ Hajir Hajian, <insert ten other random students here, five of whom will drop out within the first week>.
Nominations close on Friday!
Yes, it’s true. On World Press Freedom Day, AMS Council cut off our VFM funding. Since like, only 50 of you actually vote (come ON! we have so many more hits than that!), you probably don’t care.
Anyway, here is the Blackbox UBC Story, in point form. Like all True AMS Stories, its truth can only be known by the people involved, unless it came out in Council when no one was listening.
- Blackbox UBC applied to be a VFM
- Elections Administrator Erik Mackinnon accepted them
- Bijan pulled a hissy fit and ordered Erik to reject them, because they leaked a super secret document (and had nothing to do with their anonymity)
- They filed a complaint with the Ombudsperson (anonymously) against the AMS Executive and Elections Administrator for banning them from VFM
- Executive Committee overruled Bijan and said they could be a VFM (Dear Political Rhetoric at UBC: note the difference? Execs, Executive, Exec Comm ≠ President.)
- Erik freaked the fuck out and refused to make any more judgment calls re: VFM entrants until there were concrete rules surrounding continuous VFM
- People raised questions regarding the anonymity of Blackbox, since (according to variously reliable sources) VFMs can’t be a) current candidates; or b) current councillors; or c) all of the above; or d) none of the above
- AMS Council ignored all this shit and adjourned, thus FREEZING ALL THE VFM FUNDING—which you can imagine somebody isn’t happy about
- Elin, VP Finance, (and we’re very disappointed if you still need that explanation of who Elin Tayyar is) ordered Erik to keep on making judgment calls to keep the money going; Erik refused in a manner completely unrelated to his political/social ties to Bijan
- Elections are starting, yet there will be no continuous funding for the blogs (plus they decreased the one-time elections VFM), so what is the point of funding if you aren’t going to GIVE MONEY WHEN IT SUPER DUPER COUNTS? Or give incentive to new, virgin opinions?
- Nobody reads The Ubyssey.
What the fuck? Yeah, let’s back up and rewind here. There are four major issues with all this Blackbox shit right now.
- The reason they weren’t accepted as a VFM was because Bijan didn’t like that they leaked something.
- There are technically no rules about who can or cannot be a VFM, which is hella wack.
- The real issue is whether the AMS should give money to anonymous persons, but because this is the AMS, the legitimate debate surrounding this (can, and should, we demand that people consider their sources?) will get totally lost in a shining clusterfuck of BIJAN IS MEAN and WHY DOES COUNCIL HATE US and SECRET CONSPIRACIES, YOU GUYS etcetera etcetera
- The AMS won’t be paying VFM during elections. Also uncool, guys.
So, yeah, what the fuck?
oh, sorry, we meant this one instead:
Problem #1: Bijan acted unilaterally (ie like a dick) to ban a media outlet from funding because they leaked something. Going beyond that, is Bijan trying to threaten the student media on campus to make us stop making him into a Lorax in fear of getting less money or not being deemed a “credible” student media outlet? (More to the point, we were a credible student media outlet? God, we love this campus.)
Problem #2: There are technically no “real” rules about Continuous VFM (only the Elections VFM which is a one time vote). There is convention, however. A blog called Locust and Bumblebee applied and were turned down on the merit that they didn’t contribute any content that was UBC or AMS related. We are a rare species.
Problem #3: After stirring up a whole shitstorm about being concerned where their money is going with Gazapalooza, be that to Hamas via 100000 passing of hands or the building of a boat that will sink, the AMS & hangers on need to seriously consider applying that rhetoric to everything. For all they know, they could be funding a terrorist. Or a staffer.
Problem #4: How is this supposed to happen if you cut off the incentive? Sure, AMS Confidential and UBC Insiders will still post, but what about new talent? Last year we were one of the newcomers and wouldn’t have been able to enter if it wasn’t for Continuous VFM. Broke, sad ladies need blogs more than ever, guys. Bring back the subsidies!
Problem #5: We love you, Black Box, but your use of pull quotes is totally pretentious because you are quoting yourselves. Here, I’ll show you:
“Your use of pull quotes is totally pretentious and makes it seem like you think what you’re saying is really incredibly totally important.” — A Noted Blogger
Come on, AMS Council. Yeah, so you’re facing a ‘systemic deficit’ or whatever, but which do you need more: a working budget, or us? We know you love your Robot Unicorn, so why don’t you start feeding OUR unicorns? Exotic grasses are way expensive, and it’s getting harder and harder to deal with the Virgins’ Union and their constant demand for pay raises.