This summer has been so different from the other summers I’ve had.
I didn’t enrol in a course this time, which logically makes a lot of sense but is still a point of insecurity for me. I hate the idea that I’m slacking, but I know there are limitations to my abilities to excel in a course and devote my time to other just as important means of gaining experience. (Yeeeaaaah, I’m a course fiend–there, I’ve said it.)
I did some of my usual stuff: volunteered a the hospital, went to festivals, visited the typical cool spots in Vancouver, chilled at the library (ha ha, yeeeeaaaah, I’m that kind of nerd)…
But I also took on a bunch of new responsibilities that challenged me and made me reconsider what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go in the next few weeks, the next few months, maybe even the next few years.
This summer, I interned for an online magazine, I volunteered for some labs and a program that seeks to educate kids in science, I got hired at a bookstore, I went to China for the first time with my family. I met new people, and some of them, as this summer draws to a close, I might never see again.
I also lost a few opportunities taking on too much beforehand, and at times still regret it. I dealt with some devastating news concerning friends and personal health scares. My fears on how I am an utter moron (because yeeeaaaah, I have low self-esteem sometimes) couldn’t be trampled despite everything, and I went through a couple of bad days. I noticed a bitterness in me that came with the sunshine I always pine for come winter, and for once I missed the calm that comes with the rain.
And of course, there was always the occasional lazy day in which I did nothing at all. And that was nice.
It has been a long and eventful four months. I don’t have any epiphanies to share, because now more than ever learning has become a gradual and tumultuous experience for me rather than an earth-shattering “Eureka!” moment (although I wish, heh heh), but I appreciate the challenges that I took on and overcame and even those I’m still in the process of overcoming.
As a student, the start of September is more like New Year’s than actual New Year’s. I am fearful and excited as always for what’s going to come next, wondering how I might be able to sustain this feeling into the school year of trying to be someone worthwhile.
How was your summer, folks, and how do you feel about this upcoming winter session?
It rains a lot in Vancouver. That shouldn’t be a surprise if you’ve been here long. Sometimes I resent the rain. I bear the long, cold walk to the bus stop from my home or from my class, head down, hair disheveled. I think, “My glasses need windshield wipers.” The rain has dampened my coat, soaked it right through (which probably means I should invest in better clothing), and it has dampened my mood. Other times, though, when it’s late in the evening and I’m in the midst of studying, I take a small pleasure in hearing the pitter patter of raindrops against the roof. I feel calm and content. As much as I complain about Raincouver, I guess it isn’t always so bad.