I hate Freud.

Ok, hate is a big word… I need a bigger one. I’m right now looking at Thesaurus.com: loathe, despise, anathematize? Now that just sounds pretentious. These words don’t seem to carry enough weight to appropriately describe my feelings towards Freud, therefore I googled: “other ways you can say I hate you”. And as it usually is when you google something, I got what I wanted.

*Clears throat* Dear Freud “I don’t hate you…I just don’t like that you exist[ed]”, quote credits to  Gena Showalter the author of Seduce the Darkness. Continuing on, Dear Freud – I especially like this one – “I don’t like you. True, I don’t like most people, but I especially dislike you. I could start my own religion based on how much I dislike you.”, a quote from What a Dragon Should Know written by G.A Aiken.

I think its pretty clear that I don’t particularly like Freud. This disdain I fostered towards Freud originated because I had to write an essay on the man’s theories. The beginning of his analysis of “the uncanny” isn’t bad, its even at some points somewhat insightful, but then, as it usually is with people that think they are unto something, he goes too far and starts talking about castration and fear. Freud does this everytime, he starts to talk about a dream, and we are all like “Ok, aha, I kind of get what you are saying”, and then all of a sudden, BOOM! You want to sleep with your mother. I don’t even like to argue about this because I would be falling on the same trap Freud does, proving something that really can’t be proven due to the ambiguous nature of the subconscious. But it is this inherent ambiguity that renders any generalizations on the meaning of symbols and undertsanding of dreams useless. Sometimes I have get to control my own dreams, they call it lucid dreams, and I can fly and stuff just because I want to do it, and it’s not my mind trying to tell me a message on some sort of displaced form of illustrated language. I don’t feel – because that is it: a feeling – that there is always a subconscious reason for the things I dream about, let alone that reason be a sexual one.

Furthermore, Why does it always have to do with sex, Freud? Why? I understand you lived in a society where repression was common because of society’s demands, and I also understand that you intended these theories on psychoanalys as an aid to better understand ourselves and thus be able to live a more fulfilling life. I appreciate it, but in the second millenia our understanding of the subconscious has improved a lot, your theories were a good starting point, but I hate being breaking this to you (not really), but your theories nowadays are just seen as wrong. It seems to me, especially after I had to write this essay, that during your analysis you are just simply transferring your perverse machinations to the dreams of people who might just be dreaming weird stuff. Just look at your analysis of the source of “the uncanny” when reading The Sandman. You start to talk about how getting your eyes gouged out seems pretty scary, and then BOOM! Eyes suddenly mean penis and therefore we fear the Sandman because of castration, #yolo. I have to admit that I am rather going too far, Freud’s theories were clearly made to the benefit and improvement of our society. Nevertheless, Freud – I know you can’t hear me, not only because your dead, but even if you werent, I am currently not reading this outloud – not everything has to do with sex. Or maybe it does…but I just repressed it? Oh God. See what you have done! Damnit Freud!

His analysis in the break down of the psychoanalysis of dreams is pretty cool… I guess.