In the 1960s, as a little boy attending Catholic school in Calgary Alberta, I remember when we explored the meaning of ‘God’ in class. Our spiritual teachers, mostly nuns and priests, were careful to use words to describe this mysterious figure as ‘omniscient’, ‘all-loving’ and ‘hope everlasting’. Even as a little boy, the idea of such a powerful figure led me to a simple and logical conclusion: “Hey, God must be like mum!”
Even though my mother was occasionally strong-willed and proud, she was a kind, considerate woman. She loved life, my father and especially nature. She had a special fondness for children. My brother and I certainly knew we were loved. In addition, mum was a source of hope (and instilled that sense of hope in others) and it seemed perfectly logical to me: mum’s middle name was Hope!
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Margaret Hope Lowe Giustini was the 9th of 11 children born to Elizabeth (nee Macgill) and Charles Lowe in Glasgow, Scotland in 1942. She immigrated to Canada in 1960 and met my Italian immigrant father shortly after. They married and quickly started a family.
Mum’s breast cancer story goes back to 1993 but she did not recur until 2006 – a solid thirteen year remission. After the recurrence, mum faced a long and difficult battle – breast cancer is a terrible disease. As mum’s primary caregiver, dad also bore a huge responsibility in helping mum fight the disease. On October 16th, 2008 in North Vancouver at the young age of 66 years surrounded by her sons and her husband of 47 years, Alberico, mum died.
It was always mum’s dream to live on the West Coast, and after living in Calgary for 45 years, my father and I realized her wishes by moving her out to BC in 2007. Dad sold the family home, and while mum’s disease had created problems for us, we accomplished our goal (and hers) against many odds.
My parents’ new home in Ambleside, West Vancouver – just blocks from the water which mum loved – became my second home during 2008. In many ways, this short, blissful period was among the happiest in our lives.
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On reflecting on her incredible influence on me, I am struck by how mum was definitely her own person. She was not easily swayed by salespeople, for example, and did not abide rudeness. She was, above all, self-reliant: for example, although I work in healthcare and know how to read a clinical trial, mum made her own treatment decisions. I could influence her choices – and she was always suggesting I become a physician – but she was in charge of her own health. When mum broke her arm in a fall at home two weeks ago, she kept her dignity in hospital by asking her loved ones to leave her alone to recuperate.
Mum was never afraid to stand up for herself or others. Her sense of justice has been passed along to me. I use her sense of fairness in everything that I do. Clearly, mum understood the value of self-reflection and meditation to work out her complex feelings as she lay dying. And yet, she never failed to reach out to others in need (or in pain) or to thank her caregivers in her last days. As breast cancer took more of her energy and functioning, my mother retained her vibrancy, love of life and people – especially children. This, for me, is her legacy everlasting.
Rest in peace, mum. Somehow we will find a way to carry on …
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In lieu of condolences or flowers, please contribute to breast cancer research.
Yvonne Chan
lse721
Dean I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of parent is so difficult, I know how you must feel. I lost my dad two years ago and it was one the hardest events in my life. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
This is a beautiful tribute to your mom, Dean. Your love for her shines through the darkness. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Some people are just irreplaceable. I am very sorry for your loss. May you and your family find peace in her absence.
Dean,
Anyone can see from reading your message how much your Mum meant to her family, and all that she taught you about life. My mother also died of breast cancer, and it is a disease that I pray a cure will be found for in our lifetime.
My sincere condolences to you, your brother and your dad.
Kathleen
Dean, am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you can find comfort in the fact that your mother seemed to be surrounded by people who loved her, and in a location that she loved.
Sorry to hear of your loss. My sincere condolences to you and your family….our thoughts are with you all.
What a loving and awesome tribute to your Mum Dean! She would be SO proud of you! I hope you, your dad and brother keep strong during this sad time. You know my thoughts are with you. Your mum and my mom are together now, watching over us.
I hope you find some comfort in knowing that in spite of the sadness and grief you are going through right now, your mom’s unconditional love, teaching and guidance is something you would not have missed for the world! You simply would not be the same person you are not having known her.
The grief does get better with time, and she will always be with you.
Suzan
Hi everyone,
Thank you for your words of comfort. I think mum’s death will ultimately have the effect of bringing me closer to friends and family. Any death (and not just someone who was cut down so early because of cancer like my mum) is an opportunity for those left behind. Whether it’s valuing others, or life itself, a beloved’s death brings us closer to our own mortality. It’s an important issue that everyone (including those of us in health care) have to come to terms with……Dean
ps. Mum’s official obituary is here.
Dean, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you were there for her every step of the way. That truly matters.
Bev
Dean,
My sincere condolences. Your post is tremendously touching, but glitters in hope and strength. Your words are such a fitting tribute to your mum.
Take care my friend,
Allan
Dean,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. She sounds like a wonderful woman and mother who supported you and your family throughout her life. I hope that her memory helps you through this difficult time, and that you remember the joyful and loving times together.
My thoughts are with you.
Alix
Dean, what a marvelous tribute to your mother. My best wishes go out to you and your family at this time.
Take care,
Dave
Thanks for sharing this with us, Dean. Your Mom sounds like a wonderful woman. I can that see many of the qualities that made her such a fine mother are those that make you such a fine teacher and librarian. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time of sorrow.
Hello Dean
My most sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. I found the tribute you posted simply beautifull.
I lost my father six weeks ago. When I was 12 years old I tried to think how it would be when my parents would not be there anymore and I could not imagine it.
Now, 41 years later, both my parents are gone I still cannot imagine it. I feel orphaned, a feeling it’s hard to come to terms with.
Take care,
Hans
Dean,
Having lost my step-mom to Cancer in 2007 my heart and condolences go out to you and your family. From your loving tribute I can see that you loved her very much and she loved you and I think that there is no better way to honour someone you love than by just keeping them fondly close to your heart.
Best wishes,
Dawn
Jo-Anne told me of the passing of your beautiful mother. I loved learning about her and your love together. She had a remarkable life in that she so powerfully affected you and many others. I was especially drawn to her way of dealing with healing where her own dignity was primary. Losing one’s parents is a profound experience that changes us in ways we don’t even know about. Thank you Dean for sharing your thoughts about your mother — I have come to know you better now too.
Dean, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing a little piece of your mum with us here. She sounds like a strong and loving lady. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss Dean. This is a very touching tribute.
Dean,
My condolences go to you and your brother and your father. I recall you used to come to Calgary to visit your mum. It’s obvious from your beautiful tribute a very special lady has passed on. My thoughts are with you.
Helen
Dean and Family – We are so very sorry for your loss, Margaret was a wonderful lady and she will be surely missed. God needed an Angel. I am glad we could be apart of finding her home in West Vancouver which she loved – Let us know if there is anything we can do for you at this time, you are in our thoughts and prayers – Laura, George, Nicolette, Alexandria and Mya.
Dean,
I share your sorrow. I lost my mother 22 years ago. I remember it as though it were yesterday. She was an artist that could create beauty in any medium. She taught all 6 of her kids the importance of art in everyday things. Mums are special.
Connie
Hi Connie,
It sounds like your mum was extra special. (True, I guess all mums are *special* to their children.)
This first month of grieving over mum’s dying has been the hardest month of my life. Somehow, I have kept going to work, writing papers for my last course of my M.Ed and teaching LIBR534. Everyone keeps saying ‘to keep busy’ so I’m trying.
My mum’s unconditional love supports me in what I do, I think. I wish she were here though.
Cheers
Dean
Dean
Thank you for setting up such a nice tribute to mum.
She was such a special woman and loved us so very much – talk about unconditional love. She was a beautiful woman in so many ways; I’ll miss her dearly. I will have to spend more time with you and dad – I love you both very much.
Take good care of yourself – that’s what mum would have wanted. This is so very hard to believe mum seemed so young and full of life. Shes a very special angel now, God bless.
Your brother David.
We lived across the street from Margaret and Alberto in Calgary for quite a few years. Having just spoken to your dad and receiving this sad news, Peter and I would like to express our sincere condolences on the loss of this very special woman. God bless you and your family. Our prayers are with you. Sincerely, Cathy and Peter.
Hello Albert and Dean;
We wish to convey our sincere sympathy to both of you and to David.
Margaret was a beautiful person in every respect. We were shocked to hear of her death since we were not at all aware of her illness nor of its onset in 1993.
She was especially precious to us because of her love for Jehovah God and her family which she cared for so well.
We look forward to seeing her again in the paradise earth as this is the sure hope that Jesus held out as recorded in the Bible at John 5:28,29 and also prophetically at Apocalypse 21:4,5.
Albert, we enjoyed our visit with you in Calgary and appreciate your hospitality.
Renee & Linus
The following message is being posted on behalf of Helen Muir.
Helen’s Message of Sympathy:
“My sincere sympathy to Margaret’s immediate family. She and I were very good friends. I pray that the whole family will enjoy God’s blessings.”
Helen Muir
November 3, 2008
With deepest sympathy, our condolences to Alberico and Sons, for the loss of your beloved Wife and Mother.
Deanna and Guido Del Monte Burnaby,B.C. ~
October 29, 2008
Zio, Dave, & Dean. We are deeply saddened for your loss. It is so very hard to lose a loved one and we hope you will find peace in your remembrance of all the good times you shared together. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
~
Diana Giustini,
Calgary, Alberta
October 26, 2008
Zio Alberico the news of Aunt Margaret passing was a reminder to me that this life we have is short and precious, and often taken for granted until times like these. I’m sorry for your loss and I want you to know that my thoughts are with you and Dean and Dave. I will always remember Aunt Margaret as a beautiful lady that was always kind to me.
~
Lino Giustini,
Calgary, Alberta
October 24, 2008
I was very sad to hear that Maggie passed away because she always thought of me and I really liked all the stuff she gave me. The memory I enjoyed most was when Maggie took me down town. I remember seeing the turtles there and her laughing.
I will really miss her,
love Natasha
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Natasha Pye,
Calgary, Alberta
October 24, 2008
I was sorry to hear about Maggie. My favorite memory with her was when she took us to Devonian Gardens. I liked seeing the turtles. I also liked the pixie dust that she gave us. I wear the necklace on special occasions. I really liked that she was my nanny.
love
Stephanie
~
Stephanie Pye,
Calgary, Alberta
October 23, 2008
Zio Alberico, Dean and David;
Im so very sorry to hear of Aunt Margaret’s death. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
~
Grace Giustini,
Calgary, Alberta
October 22, 2008
Dean,
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Please take care of yourself and hope to see you soon.
~
Yuko Takemoto,
Vancouver, British Columbia
October 22, 2008
Very sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. She was a very special lady who I will always remember fondly.
~
Judy Rochemont (Hage),
Calgary, Alberta
October 20, 2008
Huguette & Jean-Guy Lapierre express their sincere sympathy to the family of Margaret, we did not known her since a long time but long enough to admire her qualities
~
Huguette & Jean-Guy lapierre,
West Vancouver, British Columbia
October 20, 2008
To Alberico, Dean and David
There are simply no words I have to describe how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your beloved mum and wife. My thoughts are with you.
~
Suzan Zagar,
Vancouver, British Columbia
October 18, 2008
Alberico and family,
We are so sorry to hear of Margaret’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all at this difficult time of loss and sorrow. May you keep memories close to your heart and you she will always be with you.
Joe & Chris Pacione and boys
October 18, 2008
I was so saddened to hear of the passing of Margaret. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers. There are many happy memories of the “boys” growing up here on Lake Adams with Mom smiling in the background. Sincerely, Donna Michael
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Donna Michael,
Calgary, Alberta
October 18, 2008
My thoughts are with you in this difficult time. Dean, I will always remeber your Mum’s smile because she wore it a lot! May you find some comfort knowing that she is no longer suffering.
With hugs and warmth to you, your Dad and Dave,
Sandy xo
~
Sandy Slovack
Author James mckenna
E-mail jamesmc3stripe@googlemail.com
Comment Hello i came across this site when looking up Margaret Hope Lowe for my gran Joyce Mckenna,i just wanted to say how the write up was beautiful and unfortunately having never met “Auntie Margaret” as i knew her, i would just like to send my love to the family.
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Dean, My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing your loving thoughts of your mom. What a special woman your mom was!!! Hang on to those cherished memories of her! With sincere sympathy, Ana Rosa