Bewildered

Hoh boy, I’m not gonna check when the date of my last blog post was, but I’m sure it’s been over a month. A month. Man, I mean I knew I was never the most up to speed blogger, but no new posts in a month is frankly quite pitiful– what did I get up to in a month? There were definitely some fun moments in February, turned 19, good reading break and all that jazz, but when it comes down to it, did I actually accomplish anything? Yes, I got some great grades– all of them being above 85–but does that actually mean anything?

In high school, extra-currics was my big thing. I’d be in so many I’m pretty sure I had weeks where every day I’d stay at the school until past six. At the time, I thought I did them because I needed to just do things with my time, meaningful stuff. That was definitely part of it. But looking back now, I saw a key part of what made me come back every time was the community formed while doing these activities: the cast of the drama production, the newspaper editors, and the cameradery of the prefects. As hard as it is for me to admit it now, I don’t really feel that here.

A part of it is definitely me. Looking back, I haven’t put my all into clubs here the way I did back at home, and I’m making a conscious effort to rectify that now. However, there must be more to it than that. Something here has made it hard to find a meaning under the books and classes– things that really don’t matter in the long run. People are so wound up about these classes they miss all the other things, things that don’t include drinking, or don’t have to, at least. I’ll give two examples of this: firstly, I put on a One Act for Totem Park. I and my actors worked really hard all through October and November to preform, and I think we did a great job. Problem? Barely anyone showed up. Out of all the people that came to watch, I’d say 90% were friends of mine or the other plays. It really hurts to think people care so little that they won’t come to a 2 hour play, on a week-end, in a time before anyone would be drinking anyway. The second one was the creative writing club i tried starting up at the beginning of February. When I started the club, it got huge support from people on Facebook. However, at the first meeting, only six people showed up. “That’s fine,” I thought. “Everyone will just make it for the second.” I tried for a second two weeks later, to which no one even responded. Finally, last week, I tried one last time, and eight people said they would come, which was a decent number. I go there at the time, and no one showed up. Half didn’t even notify me by text, and the ones that did told me about it at the allotted time. I won’t lie, it kinda kills me to see two things I really put my heart into just carelessly cast aside. Couldn’t people at least notify me a couple hours before?

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this into a bitch-fest, or to criticize the student body. I’m just an extremely bewildered first year, trying to figure out his place out west. I get good marks yes, awesome, but if that’s all I have to show for my degree, it’ll be a wasted one. Maybe you guys can help? What can I get involved in that has a great community? What can I get into that will make me wanna come back again because of the people in it, who are just as passionate about this as I am? It seems I’ve been picking the wrong things. On my last post, someone reccomended UBC Rec, which is an awesome idea, but I cannot play sports haha. Something non-athletic :P