The first comments I received highlighted the good relationship maintained with the thesis and the rest of the essay. During my entire essay it was very clear what the argument was saying and how it related to the thesis. I was also told that my first essays showed strange transitions between paragraphs that sometimes broke the fluency of the essay. I worked on this by adding transitional phrases and improving the arguments in my essay so the tied better with one another.
In some of my essays I was told to improve the use of evidence, specially in my Plato and Hobbes essays. In these I didn’t use so much evidence because the work itself didn’t facilitate finding the necessary evidence. Honestly in the Hobbes essay I also had a deadline for another class so I couldn’t make as much effort. To remedy this I tried to organize my evidence better and earlier in the week. I choose my topic earlier and start marking of potential pieces of evidence. This also involves going back to the books and reading parts of them again to acquire more pieces of evidence. I think this has worked and in my Shakespeare and Carpentier essays I did it quite well.
In my writing I have made some careless mistakes like typos or silly sentences. This is not because of lack of knowledge or craft but because when I write I try to let my mind free and just pour out a lot of information. I always revise my essays several times but some mistakes always go unnoticed until its too late. I guess there is no safe cure for this but reading every essay very carefully, almost word for word, and try to make sure nothing escapes my view.
This term I will work on perfecting my essays and make them excellent essays. I will work on more details and try to make the logic and the rhetoric in my essays flawless. I think I started of well with this in my Carpentier essay. Christina mentioned that in this essay questions arose and I answered them promptly. I will also try to get rid of careless mistakes that bring down my writing.