Countless times I’ve heard men complain that women can have sex whenever they want and men have to “struggle” for it to happen. Countless times I’ve heard women complain that if a man has a lot of sex, he’s called a “stud”, and if a girl has a lot of sex, she’s a “slut”. Where do I stand on this issue? Nowhere. I believe both arguments are the manifestation of our sexual repressions causing people to anxiously find excuses as to why they aren’t having as much sex as they’d like to. Freud, in my view, would agree.
See, if you take a good look into the way the dating world operates for most, it consists of either: 1) following the social norms of gender dynamics, where you go to school, meet your high school sweetheart, take them to prom, lose your virginity to each other and end up eventually getting married (and over 60% of the time it ends in divorce), 2) being a lonely sexless person, who tends to constantly express their sexual frustrations through daily negativity, or 3)
breaking out of the ordinary and being okay with just hooking up, not restricting yourself to monogamy and exploring your sexuality with whoever you may have a connection with.
It is sad to see that because of a plethora of factors (such as social media, television, movies, etc) most people feel extremely intimidated opening conversations with strangers. Some argue that this is partly due to a delay in evolution, since humans are used to living in small communities where everyone is familiar, and the only times they would have to talk to strangers would take place in a very unfamiliar context, fearing for a bad reaction in result of what they may say. Whatever the reason may be, this left room for the hookup culture to take over with dating websites, speed-dating, blind dates, and most recently the app Tinder, which seems to be the best and worst invention of the 21st century. It’s the best because it allows for people to conveniently search for a partner without having to leave the comfort of their home, but it’s the worst because it shows how much of the social skills that help us reproduce have been lost after technology took over the modern world. The Freudian nightmare is here, and Rousseau warned us!