Its weird, being in a relationship that has a predetermined amount of time before termination. Knowing from the beginning that we were only going to be together for 10 months or so. It makes my time with you kind of bittersweet, and forces me to take full advantage knowing it wont last forever. If I am being honest, the temporaryness can be a comfort too. Not always, but when things are hard for me here. When I feel like I going to burst about my frustrations here: the stares, the cat calls, this stark and visible difference between wealthy and poor, the pain and time it takes of getting things fixed (if they get fixed), and the sometimes-quiet-sometimes-up-in-your-face-but-always-in-the-back-of-your-mind unease/fear. Not fear and anxiety just for my safety, but my inability to properly communicate, and constantly being in unfamiliar places.
But then, then! I also feel like I might burst from the nostalgia I already feel for my mind-numbingly amazing experiences I’ve had with you and the rest of the country: meeting all these fascinating people, walking around your downtown at night with all the lights and street performers, your beautiful streets and colours and smells, getting glimpses of different lives, laughing with strangers, laughing with friends, experiencing all this kindness, your 3am tacos, your 5pm tacos, your 12pm tacos. And of course, the sometimes-quiet-sometimes-up-in-your-face-but-always-in-the-back-of-your-mind unease/fear.
So, I guess we are getting to that halfway point in our relationship. How am I feeling about you? Lots of things. Firstly, grateful. You have allowed me to be so much while I have been here. You have welcomed me, sometimes in strange ways. You are full of people who aren’t from here but now call you home. Your rolling hills of lights from my bathroom window—of so many neighborhoods you harbor that I have never seen, and might never see. Your industrialization looming over so much while art and creativity attempt to push through.
How will I ever say goodbye? I am not sure…but for the time being, let us be us and let our relationship grow. Lets see where things take us, and go on more adventures together.
Thanks for everything Querétaro, lets make next semester as awesome as the last.
This is great!