This assignment was originally completed on June 4, 2021, as part of Lesson 1:3. After completing the definitions assignment, our next task was to exchange work with a partner and provide a critique of their work. After throughly reading through it, I evaluated Claire Abramski’s work and noted its strengths, weaknesses, and provided suggestions for improvements. The original submission of this assignment met expectations, however one issue was the excessive presence of pronouns (e.g., I and you) in the text. This assignment has now been edited for brevity, and unnecessary pronouns have been removed.
Reviewer: Alirod Ameri, ENGL 301 student
Author: Claire Abramski, ENGL 301 student
Date: Friday, 4 June 2021
Title of Definition: Environmental Impact Assessment
Initial Impressions
After reading through your definitions, I prepared this short report to outline feedback regarding your work. Overall, the main objectives of this assignment have been fulfilled, however there are several improvements which can be made in some areas.
Audience
Having taken several conservation biology and environmental science courses during the past few years, I am familiar with this term. The provided definition is extremely accurate and thorough, while still being easy to comprehend for a person outside of this field. No complex jargon is used in the definitions. The parenthetical definition is short and concise, while the expanded definition is comprehensive.
Grammar
Overall, writing quality is strong, however there are several grammar errors which should be corrected. In the ‘Reading Situation’ section, revise sentences so they are clearer and easier to understand. For example, “that this community member lives” could be changed to “that this community member lives in”.
In the ‘Expanded Definition’, there are several distracting errors. “This agency works with … local governments, and federal any government agencies” appears to be an error in sentence composition. “In Canada there is both a federal and provincial levels of EIA” can be revised as it sounds awkward in its current form.
Organization
The assignment is clearly organized in a linear format and the citations section appears very professional. The expanded definition is well organized and easy to comprehend, however the methods of expansion used for the definition should be specified as well. It appears that a description of how it’s used, how it operates, an analysis of parts, and a visual are all provided. However, it would be clearer for readers if each section was clearly denoted.
Visuals
The visual is captivating, but the image size could be increased to make it easier to view. Additionally, some information contained in the graphic (such as the timeline) is a bit difficult to understand and could be either removed or further elaborated in the figure caption.
Final Comments
In conclusion, in its current form the definition meets all the required assignment objectives. However, there are some grammar and sentence structure errors which should be fixed prior to final submission. These errors detract from the content and can confuse the reader. The assignment is well organized and flows elegantly, however it’s difficult to identify where the four different methods of expansion required for the expanded definition were.
The most effective element of the document is how the ‘reading situation’ is clearly indicated and well-integrated throughout the definitions. A very specific situation which is relevant to a real-world situation is provided. The three different forms of definitions (parenthetical, sentence and expanded) complement each other nicely as each one gradually increases in length and level of complexity.
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