One week down, nine to go. Or shall I say, only nine left?! How has the time gone so fast!

This past week has been a steep learning curve. After each 10+ hour day, I would leave the school with mixed feelings – excitement over something wonderful that had happened in the day, stressed about things I needed to plan or the lesson I was preparing for tomorrow, and doubtful of things that I had done during that day. Overall, I think I had a good first week. I made some good connections with my students and staff. I had some really great engaging lessons. I had some disaster lesson and learned some really great things of what not to do. I received a lot of feedback, from teachers, faculty and even students. I feel like I learned more in this past week than I had in the last few months in classes. It really is true – learning by doing really is the most effective.

Highs: 

• Reading through my student information handout forms and hearing that even after one class, many students seemed genuinely excited to be in my class because I seemed “fun” or “engaging” and had an “awesome personality”
• Getting to know what my students are like after only a few days with them. I already know what kinds of lessons will work for their learning styles, what won’t work, and what I can do to help them be successful
• Having really fun lessons such as Telestrations to learn about accuracy and precision
• Introducing Playte Time to my class (writing on plastic plates instead of mini white boards) and having every single student love it
• Having students respect me as their teacher – I didn’t know if this would happen as a TC and I’m very excited that we share a mutual respect for each other

Lows:

• Looking out into the eyes of the students and seeing complete and utter confusion. I knew at that moment that I had failed them and that I was only making things worse
• The constant feeling of being overwhelmed by not having enough time to plan into the future as well as plan what I want to do tomorrow
• Marking performances for the first time – it was more stressful and subjective than I thought, even though I had made a rubric
• Feelings of doubt over situations – What do I do with the student who has slept through every class of mine and has no idea what I’m saying or doing? What do I do with the student who has been away every day this week? How do I regain some of the confidence I lost after my failures this week?
• Not putting myself first – in my class, I put my students first. But I need to remember that my health and wellness are equally as important. I have to focus on managing my stress and health so I can be the most effective teacher I can be

Most important thing I learned this week: Every doubt I have, every “oh I should have done it this way,” brings me one step closer to being the teacher I want to be. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn. And every time I get wrapped up and tangled…

… it will always be my job, my future, my happiness.

I look forward to what the weeks ahead bring. I look forward to planning my units and lessons. I look forward to creating relationships with my students. I look forward to being the best teacher I can be!

 

 

Excited? Happy? Overwhelmed? Stressed? Exhausted? These are all feelings I would expect to be feeling after my first day, but instead I feel nervous, doubtful and underwhelmed. My initial reaction to these feelings was you shouldn’t be feeling this way, this is what you wanted to do – is it really what you want to do? I worried about my emotions. I worried that if I didn’t feel the excitement and joy that teaching brings, was I really cut out for it?

After fretting, I realized how much of a closed mindset I had. These feelings weren’t feelings of failure. They are feelings of success. Instead of focusing on things that went wrong, I focused on things that could have gone better. Instead of wishing I had done things differently, I spent time thinking of how I can change for the future. Being nervous, critical of my work, and reflective only mean that I care, that I have chosen the right career, and am ready to be a teacher.

Here are some of my critical reflections:

1. Was I too nice? 
I spent the first class engaging students in a fun lab activity and getting-to-know-you activities, rather than spending 85 minutes on the course outline and moving into content. I think that this went over really well as students were far more engaged in participating in class discussions with me and their peers after the activity. For example, students were on their phones less after the activity than they had been prior, and were actively participating when we created our classroom charter. But now I wonder, was I too nice? Instead of setting any expectations from me, we set class expectations. We shared laughs, ate cookies and told stories. Are students really going to think of me as an authoritative figure after this class? My hope is that this class began the the formation of good relationships that I have with students, so that I won’t have to incorporate “classroom management” as explicitly. I’ve decided that tomorrow or the next day, I’m going to revisit the classroom charters and go through explicit parts that I feel are important to enforce. Hopefully, this will reinforce my authority figure but since I am approaching it from the charter than they made, it will be less “class rules” and more “this is how we can respect our teacher.”

2. Are my lessons too long?
I planned for today’s lesson to only take 65 minutes. In one of my classes, it took the full 85 minutes, the other I didn’t finish what I had planned. Now I am concerned that all of my lessons will be too long and that I’ll be constantly pushing my lessons over. I’m now really critical of my plans and am keen to cut out details that are unnecessary, and I’m also really keen on watching my timing in class more. I also hope that I can reduce my worry over this, as learning shouldn’t be kept to a schedule.

3. How am I going to make it these 10 weeks? I’m exhausted already.
Day 1: 2 hours spent in the car, 10 hours spent at the school, 3 hours spent teaching, and a few hours ahead planning. I’m already exhausted. My feet and back hurt, my neck aches, and I’m ready to sleep for hours. But with time, I know that I will become used to these long days. I will be excited to wake up at 5am to have a great day at school. I will be excited to stay up late marking and planning, because this is what I want to do. Don’t get me wrong – I am excited about tomorrow. I’m just not used to the long days so my excitement isn’t as strong as I hoped it would be. So instead of dwelling on my exhaustion, I’m going to eat some ice cream, watch some TV and go to bed early. That I can get excited about.

It was only day one. I have 45 more days to go. I know they will go by fast, and I know that every day I am going to learn more. Learning will come from within – through an open mind, taking risks, accepting failure and celebrating accomplishments. In the words of my idol Ms. Frizzle, learning only occurs when you take chances, make mistakes, and get messy! Bring it on day 2.