{"id":1006,"date":"2010-03-16T16:23:08","date_gmt":"2010-03-17T00:23:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amsconfidential.wordpress.com\/?p=631"},"modified":"2013-04-30T11:34:35","modified_gmt":"2013-04-30T19:34:35","slug":"dear-ea-will-mcewan-were-so-sorry-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/2010\/03\/16\/dear-ea-will-mcewan-were-so-sorry-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear EA Will McEwan: We’re so sorry"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh, how times have changed.<\/p>\n

Remember when we were all, “EUS have their shit together” and praised them up and down? PISH-TOSH.\u00a0 Crack a beer, friends, and learn all about the shenanigans going on in the nerdotron faculty.<\/p>\n

Julian Ritchie just disendorsed himself<\/a> for EUS President, citing a wish to not split the vote.\u00a0 If you’re American, this decision can be explained as an alternate universe in which Ralph Nader disendorsed himself in the 2000 Gore\/Bush elections.\u00a0 Of course, Julian Ritchie is a lot smarter than Ralph Nade<\/span> oh hey, back to the coverage.\u00a0 So why would Ritchie ask his supporters to reconsider their choice?\u00a0 In other words, who’s Bush?<\/strong><\/p>\n

He’s still running, and can’t say for sure…<\/p>\n

In unrelated news, “as everyone who looks at the elections website can see,” there’s an apparent Iranian\/Persian slate running in the election [Ed. note: I didn’t say it, but someone Iranian did: “They can hold meetings in Farsi!”<\/em>]\u00a0 Sources say they handed in paperwork together, and only recently de-friended one another on Facebook (although if FB were an indicator of slates, the whole damn system would be screwed).\u00a0 And you might notice while Facebook stalking that the supporter of one tends to be the supporter of all the others.\u00a0 And you might also notice that they all seem to have the same campaign points, even when such points fall outside of the position they’re running for.\u00a0 BUT IT’S TOTALLY NOT A SLATE, AND WE’RE NOT SAYING THAT.<\/p>\n

So, aside from some platform glitches, what’s the problem?\u00a0 After all, this isn’t the AMS’s first\u2014or only\u2014unofficial (apparent) slate.\u00a0 What’s worrying insiders is the fact that all of these candidates, with no exception, appear to be hilariously incompetent.<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"

they’re our corporate sponsor<\/p><\/div>\n

OH MY GAWD EDITOR LADY i dont understand what would make you say that CLEARLY you know NOTHING AT ALL about elections RAWWWRRRRR on what evidence could you POSSIBLY base this HEINOUS ACCUSATION<\/p>\n

Well, for one thing, there’s the clusterfuck of a wall<\/a> on Presidential candidate Sina Sahami’s election event.\u00a0 It’s 10 pages long now, and no doubt getting longer, so I’ll save you the trouble and say that it’s disheartening, not least of all because of the sort of crazymaking Sahami supporter who says things like this:<\/p>\n

I heard people commenting that [Sina’s 50% participation goal] is far-fetched simply because even countries have not been able to do so. Yes that is true. However, I believe that the problem is the government bodies themselves; they DO NOT WANT MANY PEOPLE TO BE ACTIVE.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"<\/a>

FROM THE MOON PEOPLE, WITH THE RADIO WAVES<\/p><\/div>\n

Actually, come to think of it, there are a few secret\/exclusive societies at UBC, aren’t there?\u00a0 Here’s one I found:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

does this count as community service, you guys?<\/p><\/div>\n

Sina himself does a lot of shit-disturbing on his wall, calling the former exec “incompetent” and “dishonest,” and saying that EUS leaders are “ditching responsibility” (mostly in regards to budget transparency).\u00a0 Numbers (& more complex explanations than FALSE!!1!) are boring, but here are some rebuttals from people who don’t think so, and have actually held office:<\/p>\n

There’s this note<\/a> from former President Chris McCann (or, if you prefer, Chris McCAN’T HAR HAR HAR).<\/p>\n

And THIS one<\/a> from “Charizard” Pedram, who more than thoroughly details her credentials (and name-checks Dreamboat Sean Heisler &hearts).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

this is actually her grad photo<\/p><\/div>\n

And my dear friend Omid “Too Legit to Quit (the AMS) (EVER)” Javadi, in his epic 300-word meme-packed epic nerd elections breakdown<\/a>, not only covered most of the incompetency concerns, but also ensured that no woman will ever find him attractive.\u00a0 [Ladies: do you like dance music, cleanliness, and teh internetz? do you find body hair the single greatest indicator of virility? tact: your nemesis, or just unnecessary social frippery? IF SO, DIAL 1-900-WOAHMID FOR A GOOD TIME<\/em>]<\/p>\n

Anyway, that’s three people (five, if you include the candidate and his supporters) with inside information raising legitimate concerns about the competency of this (apparent) slate.\u00a0 What’s next, Formerly-Put-Together EUS? Disendorsements? Dropouts?? THE END OF DAYS??!?!?!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

THIS IS WHY I’M HOT<\/p><\/div>\n

IN CONCLUSION: hey, Mining Engineer Alex MacKinnon<\/strong>, who may or may not still look like this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

rejected olympic mascot “neerdii” finds your views interesting, wishes to subscribe to your newsletter<\/p><\/div>\n

I’ve never met you, and I tend to believe that miners are all a bunch of fratboy rock jockeys (WHAT UP, MINERS). But remember when you said “This is where I wish I could post that Picard facepalm picture”??!?\u00a0 Well, we tend to agree.<\/a><\/p>\n

WHO LOVES YA B<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oh, how times have changed. Remember when we were all, “EUS have their shit together” and praised them up and down? PISH-TOSH.\u00a0 Crack a beer, friends, and learn all about the shenanigans going on in the nerdotron faculty. Julian Ritchie just disendorsed himself for EUS President, citing a wish to not split the vote.\u00a0 If […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2356,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8493,8496,8497],"tags":[8508,8520,8549,8554,8555,7631,8605,8625,8627,8639,8643,8651,8682,8697,8698,8708,8718,8742,8763,8770,8775,8780,8786,8798],"class_list":["post-1006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-eus-elections","category-lulz","category-news-for-noobs","tag-alex-mackinnon","tag-apparent-slate","tag-captain-jean-luc-picard","tag-chris-mccann","tag-clusterfuck","tag-eus","tag-golden-key","tag-i-dont-love-minors","tag-i-love-miners","tag-its-a-conspiracy","tag-jack-law1","tag-julian-ritchie","tag-more-nerds","tag-nerdotron","tag-nerds","tag-of-the-uss-enterprise","tag-omid-javadi","tag-ralph-nader","tag-sean-heisler","tag-shit-be-crazy","tag-sina-sahami","tag-some-of-my-best-friends-are-persian","tag-still-too-many-memes","tag-tea-earl-grey-hot"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2356"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1006"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2668,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1006\/revisions\/2668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/amsconfidential\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}