I rushed from Changi to Paragon on Orchard for a dinner with old friends. The moment I got into a cab, all the nostalgia hit me in the face, like a flood. The PIE opened up in front of me, like a journey into the past.

It’s different writing about Singapore this time. When I moved to this city 9 years ago, I was amazed at its wide roads, green space, fast lanes and cleanliness. This time, it feels like my memories were made into a movie and I’m merely an audience.

My old friends greeted me with familiarity – except now they were in fancy working clothes and professional bags. Walking through the stores at Paragon, I realized how much less impressed I am with the glamour of shopping malls than I was before. I couldn’t contain my excitement to see Singapore outside of the air-conditioned buildings. A tourist could see Singapore in a few days and be astounded at how developed this dragon of South East Asia is. Probably the most westernized and connected city of the entire region, Singapore strives to preserve its identity in the changing globalization trend. I also reflected on my impression this time when I came directly from Malaysia. The similarities are obvious: language, people, food. But this city has created its own image and vision.

I avoided Marina Bay Sands and Clarke Quay and Sentosa – I slightly regret not visiting the new Universal Studios. Instead I went to Bukit Timah and Farrer Road – the place Kevin Kwan describes with satire in “Crazy Rich Asians” as the haven for the disgustingly wealthy. But to me, it was a place of memories: Coronation Plaza, the Botanical Gardens, prep school uniforms…

I remembered how much I missed this place and why I didn’t want to leave. I had a love affair with this place; falling so hard as a doll-eyed 15-year-old. But I never got the chance to grow up and mature here. I keep longing for the feeling of being here again. Actually being here, not just being present. And I realized, I obsess over this place the same way one would obsess over an unfinished relationship.

As my day ticked away, I once again wanted to hold on, stay a little longer. This place isn’t the same as the one I dreamed about, but will always have a special place in my heart.

I landed in Malaysia at around 6 pm, and after taking a bus into the city, and then hopping on the monorail, I found myself kinda lost in the narrow streets of Bukit Bintang. Old, some abandoned, and dark apartment buildings unfold as I try to navigate the uneven sidewalks, with potholes and broken paving. Then all of a sudden, Jalan Nagasari appears, filled with people tourists, locals, food, music, drinks, 24 hour shops, and I felt like I just fell through a rabbit hole into wonderland.

I could walk around all day in the massive shopping malls, and then along the pedestrian-only elevated path from Pavillion to the twin towers in no time. I could also hop on the Rapid Rail and ride for 40 minutes out of KL central and another city opens up. I found it so ironic that KL is so connected in this regard, but people still find it difficult to commute.

KL is westernized and fancy in some places, historical in some other places, and run down in a few spots. It’s hard to expect what to see. The country’s long history of colonization, new growth and modernization has created a mish-mash of landscapes, architecture and food.

Most of the time I didn’t know what I was eating, only that it was the most delicious meals I had a long time. I don’t travel for food, but I could go around all night in Jalan Alor for those skewers and frog meat. I could also eat a fancy meal in Pavilion. Kway Teow on the sidewalk. Some other food I can’t pronounce in a parking lot.

In this culturally rich city, you could keep exploring the many elements of ethnicity and religion. It’s astounding to me that so much diversity can exist in one place, and the issues that are not talked about in the open. It’s a complicated city, and as a tourist who scratched the surface of the deep political and cultural scene, I’m hooked.