I rushed from Changi to Paragon on Orchard for a dinner with old friends. The moment I got into a cab, all the nostalgia hit me in the face, like a flood. The PIE opened up in front of me, like a journey into the past.

 

It’s different writing about Singapore this time. When I moved to this city 9 years ago, I was amazed at its wide roads, green space, fast lanes and cleanliness. This time, it feels like my memories were made into a movie and I’m merely an audience.

My old friends greeted me with familiarity – except now they were in fancy working clothes and professional bags. Walking through the stores at Paragon, I realized how much less impressed I am with the glamour of shopping malls than I was before. I couldn’t contain my excitement to see Singapore outside of the air-conditioned buildings. A tourist could see Singapore in a few days and be astounded at how developed this dragon of South East Asia is. Probably the most westernized and connected city of the entire region, Singapore strives to preserve its identity in the changing globalization trend. I also reflected on my impression this time when I came directly from Malaysia. The similarities are obvious: language, people, food. But this city has created its own image and vision.

I avoided Marina Bay Sands and Clarke Quay and Sentosa – I slightly regret not visiting the new Universal Studios. Instead I went to Bukit Timah and Farrer Road – the place Kevin Kwan describes with satire in “Crazy Rich Asians” as the haven for the disgustingly wealthy. But to me, it was a place of memories: Coronation Plaza, the Botanical Gardens, prep school uniforms…

I remembered how much I missed this place and why I didn’t want to leave. I had a love affair with this place; falling so hard as a doll-eyed 15-year-old. But I never got the chance to grow up and mature here. I keep longing for the feeling of being here again. Actually being here, not just being present. And I realized, I obsess over this place the same way one would obsess over an unfinished relationship.

As my day ticked away, I once again wanted to hold on, stay a little longer. This place isn’t the same as the one I dreamed about, but will always have a special place in my heart.