Leaving on Snälltåget after sunset, I looked back sadly at Stockholm that I had to leave. I had fun, though alone, and I like the city when it’s void of summer backpackers.

I had an entire week in the city so I walked, biked, took the public transit and drove so I could see the city from different points of view. Everyone at this time is so busy getting back, going away, shopping, moving… It’s also brightly lit and cold, chirping, cheerful. Something I would expect in spring, but I found it in December.

I have a few memorable moments while wandering around the city. Ice skating at Kungsträdgården while my feet suffer in pain, but the lights and the ABBA music, and the kids and teenagers enjoying some holiday fun was so warming that I couldn’t bring myself to stop. I’m suffering all this blistering pain in my feet for a joyful feeling in my heart! Sounds like Christmas.

Another moment was when I walked around Djurgården in the chilly sunny afternoon and wandered off track into the forest. I saw a deer! But most importantly, in the extremely quiet stillness of the trees and wind, I felt like I had Stockholm to myself, and that the city is standing still for me.

One more, I biked to Drottningholm Palace in the -5 degrees C weather on a 3-gear bike. After getting lost countless times and scratching my head at the different places whose names I couldn’t pronounce (Ekerö), I finally get to the palace in the sunset, catching a glimpse of the royal glory in the fading sunlight. As I rode away in the sunset, I saw Stockholm from a bridge and marvelled at the cotton candy pink clouds, light as a dream.

But when I arrived, the moment I got off at Stockholm Central I wanted to go home. No, don’t get me wrong, not because I hated the city at first sight. But because it reminded me of places I feel at home. Vancouver. Singapore. The bustling and hurrying – people rushing and squeezing somewhere with purpose.

What an odd reaction! When I visited New York City, it was crowded and fast too, but it didn’t remind me of home. Stockholm’s “downtown” core also has high-rises and modern office buildings. Only a few car lanes funnel traffic through the central area, and pedestrians, trams and busses own the space. It was around 4 when I arrived and the pavement was packed with shoppers and white collars, in suits, hurrying. Christmas lights turn the city into a big party.

There’s exciting projects happening for the city: Hagastadan, Slussen, Vision 2030… The city will transform, but will not lose its beauty.

I wanted to go home, but I wanted to be there in Stockholm. I wanted to make Stockholm my home.