First, it’s been a hoot and a half blogging with you all. Thanks to the people who actually took the time to read all my poorly articulated and frustrated thoughts this year. I can definitely say (without crossing my fingers or truth stretching of any kind) that I gained a boat load of insight from all of you.
But despite this, bonafide “Aha” moments in ASTU were hard to come by. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic, but I’ve found that it has been fairly uncommon for anyone to waltz out of the classroom this year bouncing with weightlessness from an uplifting discussion. No, our scholarly musings generally functioned more like a magnifying glass on the densely compacted troubles of our time, succeeding not only in enlarging the issues but somehow subsequently multiplying their heaviness. All this is to say that we deal with some darkness in ASTU. And when I think of “aha” moments, the accompanying imagery is generally more along the lines of your typical Einstein lightbulb epiphany, rather than plunging headlong into a black abyss of questions regarding trauma, terrorism, and xenophobia. It is saddening, and sometimes I would rather push the thoughts aside.
But I hate to obscure reality with idealism or a falsely constructed sense of peace. There is no questioning that we need to search through this darkness for a light more permanent than the little sparks of greatness that give us hope to keep going. Could it be that just as we are getting close to finding it, we burn out, unable to devise something stable for the next generation, and they are enveloped by the darkness without a clue just like we were? I refuse to believe that we are condemned to this type of cyclical existence. I have to believe that our efforts are worth something, and that the efforts of everyone before us were worth just as much. Maybe the aha is that for now we must continue to end our thoughts with a frantic barrage of questions – not just because we don’t know any other sound way to conclude a blog – but because we must combat the temptation to fall into pessimistic complacency and mediocrity? But then, at what point will the questions pay off with answers?
bye for now
Joseph