In his memoir Cockeyed, Ryan Knighton details his life as he gradually descends into blindness due to retinitis pigmentosa. As Knighton struggles to come to terms with his disability, he is not only forced to face society’s new perceptions towards him as a disabled person but also to act accordingly to such perceptions. Knighton must learn to embrace, as well as present, a new self that has emerged alongside his disability.
We can examine Cockeyed through a sociological perspective, specifically through Mead’s theory of the self. Mead’s theory essentially stated that a person’s perception of themselves come from their social interaction. Our idea of ourselves is reflected in how other people in society view us. According to Mead, the self is comprised of two parts: “I” and “me”. “Me” is the organized set of others’ attitudes assumed by the individual. The “I” is the immediate response of an individual to the attitudes of others (“me”). Essentially, the “I” is a person’s individuality. Through the “me”, society is able to dominate the individual.
In Cockeyed, “me” alerts Knighton to how other people respond to his status as a blind man allowing “I” to act accordingly. The most notable example of this can be seen in people’s reaction towards Knighton’s crane. Knighton points out that “typical reactions to the a white cane separate sighted people into several distinct groups” (71). He humorously nicknames these people the “Stumps” and the “Jiggers”, describing their reaction to the cane as either being “fixed in place” (71) or “paralyse, then boogie at the last second” (72). Knighton’s “I” finds such encounters amusing as they make having a cane more bearable. He points out that “with a cane I could conjure dynamics just too wicked to put down” (71).
“Me” influences Knighton’s perception of himself. Bearing witness to society’s reaction and attitude towards disabilities, Knighton initially attempts to resist, mock, and ignore his diagnosis Blindness brings a sense of shame and helplessness into his life. Certain tasks such as finding the restroom in a restaurant now require the assistance of someone else. Knighton see his blindness as a burden to other people, particularly to his significant other Tracy. He writes that with his blindness comes not only his loss of independence but Tracy’s as well (144).
“Me” also makes “I” aware of the attitude and stigma surrounding the disabled. “Me” has branded disabled people as being weak and deserving of pity, forced to rely on someone else for their survival. Knighton experiences “me” in two separate incidents during his holiday to New Orleans. The first incident happens when Knighton participates in a street act and the performer is hesitant to accept his money. The performer is reluctant to take money from Knighton T “as if taking a blind man’s money is an abuse” (82). The second incident involves Knighton being mugged and automatically having the men coming back to apologize for their actions (93). Although the incident leaves him physically unscathed, Knighton feels that a part of his dignity has been lost and comes to the realization that “discrimination is discrimination, even when it’s the best” (94).
Through his memoir, Knighton shows how “me” internalizes the discrimination and marginalization of disabled people. Such discrimination undermines the intelligence and capabilities of disabled people. Although it took time and acceptance, Knighton shows that he is capable of not only living a fruitful life, but also maintaining healthy and loving relationships with family and friends. With this in mind, we must learn to break way from “me” and work towards the elimination of stigma surrounding disabilities.
WORKS CITED
Knighton, Ryan. Cockeyed: A Memoir. New York: Public Affairs, 2006. Print.
Mead, George Herbert. “Self.” Classical and Contemporary Sociological Theory: Text and Readings. By Scott Appelrouth and Laura Desfor. Edles. Los Angeles, CA: Pine Forge, 2008. 311-21. Print.
Crossman, Ashley. “A Brief Biography of George Herbert Mead.” ThoughtCo, Thought Co, 2 Mar. 2017, www.thoughtco.com/george-herbert-mead-3026491.