My purple bag . . .

So, here’s my purple bag. It’s manufactured, really, since I don’t carry a bag or even a wallet. As you can see, there are no keys or credit cards. I don’t lock my house or my bike . . . the only thing I really value is my computer . . . and that I usually carry with me. The lipstick is empty . . . Perhaps I should buy some more . . . a brand and color I’ve worn for 30 years . . .

Of course, there’s also Jack:

He’s new.

Since I live on/by my computer, I suppose this generated collection says . . . I have no life? Lol . . . the computer has my life on it in writing for the last 10 years . . . with back ups, of course . . . it holds pretty much all my thoughts, plans, actions, hopes, dreams, dreams gone and lost for that time frame.

Since I worked most of that time as a part-time writer and English language instructor, I think it says that I’m language engaged . . . and now that the keys on my computer are beginning to stick . . . the letter ‘r’ doesn’t actually work (I have a work around) and letters ‘e’, ‘s’ and ‘n’ are following close behind. My cursor also jumps. I’ll be typing along and suddenly my cursor will jump up and back a few lines, inserting letters in unexpected places, like my life, disruptions I cannot avoid or predict. A jumpy jumbled overwritten life. Some day I’ll write a page that way, letting the cursor take me and set me down where it may, disarray, not correcting the missing letters . . . and call the result, poetry.

It’s occurring to me that the image of the bag that I manufactured for purposes of this assignment oddly echoes the image of myself that I outwardly project . . . one of normality, with a few unexpected missing bits (like keys, credit cards, money, photos) . . . but it takes a second to realize those expected items are not part of this particular repertoire. But perhaps it isn’t odd, since the me I present to the world is as manufactured as the materials in the photo . . . except Jack, of course.

Jack is the evidence that I am returning to life after a long hiatus. He is ever-present and demands that I be, too.

Nothing else matters in the bag, really, except the dog poop bags. Jack shits the biggest loads I’ve witnessed in a dog; impressive, really. I never leave home with fewer than 3 bags; he’s real work to clean up after (laugh). I think it embarrasses him a  bit, too; he finds places where I cannot reach for his emissions, deep under evergreens with dense low-hanging branches and prickly needles . . . hiding the shame piles from sight . . .

I have never carried a bag with any regularity, not even a gym bag, really. It reflects my utilitarian nature; I hate being burdened with stuff . . . any archeologist who found my bag would toss it aside in disgust, wondering, who packs designer lipstick but not a mobile or credit card? Perhaps it reflects a conflicted nature, the lipstick wanting in, but the person too bored or weary or cynical to bother . . .

People who know me (there are few) sometimes remark that I am a luddite, but they are wrong; I’m selective and a maverick. I do not carry a mobile since I think they are a joke on the 21st century, and I refuse to become subject to it (the joke or the mobile). My computer has all kinds of applications on it that I use with regularity and ease–data base, spreadsheet, text programs–and few people know the amount that I once wrote, or for whom.

I like to think I’m a bit like my computer, an understated exterior of still-elegant design with signs of wear that opens to a rich and unexpectedly deep and varied interior . . . with a few glitches in some of the hardware . . . so the digital literacies in my bag are equally deceiving and the lack of phone, receipts, credit cards, other tell tale signs of a digital universe are neatly contained there, rich and deep, like me.

 

2 thoughts on “My purple bag . . .

  1. Jamie Ashton

    So, this whole thing was extremely poetic and enjoyable. Damn. I think my favourite part was when you mentioned that an archaeologist would probably toss it aside in a huff.

    Your comment that “the me I present to the world is as manufactured as the materials in the photo” also hit my curiousity chord. Is this just a comment based on the fact we all construct and construe ourselves to the world based on what it needs from us, and that the voice inside our head can never be who we really are? Or is this a comment on contemporary society, where humans are moulded by brands and borders and other aspects of modern existence? Very very interested to hear more musings on this.

    Reply

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