Do you ever notice how when you forget something and you are so focused on trying to remember that you can’t figure it out, but as soon as you stop focusing on it, you remember it later?
Often in those moments we focus on why we don’t understand why we couldn’t remember it. But isn’t it beautiful that all it took was time?
We knew the answer all along. We just needed to be patient with ourselves.
Patience is a bit of a dance. If we wait too long, we might lose our chance. If we don’t wait long enough, we might not even give ourselves a chance.
But it’s a dance we must live in if we want our lives to flow.
When we are taking our time, we are engaging in our parasympathetic nervous system. Our body is resting and relaxing.
When we are rushing, we are engaging in our sympathetic nervous system. Our body is on high alert, ready to fight, flight, or freeze.
While we might think going faster is more efficient, this creates stress in our bodies. The sympathetic nervous system redirects energy to fuel survival instincts, narrowing what skillsets we are able to access. Instead of being creative, curious, gentle, and open, we become rigid, impulsive, rough, and closed off.
Going faster can actually slow our growth down because we can no longer access everything we are capable of. The more we can invite our parasympathetic nervous system to be present, the more we can truly be aligned with who we are.
In the yoga sutra II.1, Patañjali describes the path to perfection as the need to purify body, speech, and mind. The niyama, tapas, is the self-discipline to make this commitment. This commitment requires us to realize that the journey is ongoing. Embodying patience reminds us to focus on the progress, not the endpoint, which helps us stay committed.
We can practice patience with our bodies by setting boundaries, allowing ourselves rest, and slowing down our breath to bring our parasympathetic nervous system into action.
We can practice patience with our speech by learning to listen first, thinking before we talk, and embracing silence.
We can practice patience with our mind by letting go of our ego, knowing there is always more to know, and focusing on the joy of learning, rather than the rewards.
We can only be as patient for others as we are for ourselves.
Consider this an invitation to go slower.
To let go of expectations. To embrace the sounds of silence. To take a deep breath.
Consider this an invitation to encourage others to go slower too.
The trouble isn’t that time constrains us, the trouble is that we let it.
The more we slow down and practice patience, the faster we will get to where we were meant to go.