TO: Alanna Mckeigue, BADV ENGL 301 TEAM
FROM: Brendan Chan, BAV ENGL 301 TEAM
DATE: June 4th, 2021
SUBJECT: Review for Definition of ‘Periodontium’
I have read and reviewed your post on the team forum for the three definitions of ‘Periodontium.’ I would first like to note that I feel this article is well written – you have clearly outlined what exactly forms the periodontium, as well as given a clear diagram outlining the appearance and layout of the full structure. This would be helpful in a physiological analysis on various forms of diseases involving the periodontium. I would like to add some suggestions to help add some context to your article.
Context and description of symptoms
Within the article, four main sections of the periodontium have been outlined, and it is noted the various diseases that may form in the event of periodontium issues. The addition of possible trauma/diseases affecting these structures would involve serious side effects causing tooth degradation is also quite helpful. Describing the specific symptoms of degradations may help illustrate a better picture of how serious these conditions are. Not all patients will understand the severity of these side effects or diseases.
Sentence definition
According to the textbook, the parenthetical definition should be a single sentence that uses parenthesis to define the term. Removing the four parts could be done as this information is already in the expanded definition section.
Parenthetical definition
Within the parenthetical definition, it is noted that the periodontal ligament are ‘ligaments supporting teeth.’ Using a term more general than ‘ligament’ would be useful to describing issues to patients – not all patients may know what a ligament is. Having terms such as ‘connective tissue’ may be more easily understood by potential patients. Additionally, moving the etymology of the term towards the expanded definition section would aid in understanding. Finally, the parenthetical definition should be a single sentence used to define the term – please see the textbook for further examples.
Expanded Definition
While the addition of the image is helpful, the image itself is quite small. If possible, increasing the size of the image in the article would be quite helpful. Additionally, the visual should be labeled. (i.e. Fig. 1). The expanded definition has some fairly advanced terms for a patient – Instead of ‘alveolar bone’, describing the bone would be easier to grasp. For example: the bone under the gum of the teeth.
Works Cited
The list of references should be ordered in an alphabetical manner.
As a whole, I believe your article was well written and the meaning is clear. I believe the addition of some minor details may help expand the understanding of your target audience. If you have any additional questions or concerns, feel free to contact me.
Regards,
Brendan Chan
The article reviewed can be found at the following link: