Fred Wah wrote a great book, Diamond Grill, in which he creates a life narrative through 132 prose pieces. As a Chinese-Canadian, Wah’s narrative constantly reflects upon his life of “living on the hyphen,” and even “passing” as White. In his review on the Canadian Literature- A Quarterly of Criticism and Review website, Guy Beauregard mentions that Wah calls this book a “fake biotext,” in which he explores issues of identity, “race,” and culture. The hyphen is a critical aspect of Diamond Grill, and thus Wah’s lived perception of a Chinese-Canadian life. There is constantly an internal battle of where- and when- to fit in with each side of his hyphenated life- a battle of what is acceptable to whom and what is considered to be “too Chinese” or “too White.”
This concept of the life on a hyphen brings to mind the issues that often too many queer folk encounter through their lives and life narratives. However in this sense, rather than living with issues surrounding racial identity (and what the term “race” truly means for a hyphenated life), the issues sit with one’s sexual identity amongst a heteronormative world. Some may think that upon proudly claiming one sexuality or another, there could not possibly be a hyphen to fumble over. Alas, there are a few ways in which this is simply untrue. Many bisexual folks as well as those who are in the process of “coming out” experience this concept of living on the hyphen.
For the bisexual person, the hyphen is staring them, and others, point blank in the face. Questions often arise, similarly to Wah, of who the bisexual person “belongs” to (i.e. the gay community, the lesbian community, the straight community). An Autostraddle article explains how unfortunately, “some bi people put off coming out or come out as gay or lesbian because they feel forced to be decisive and hear from all corners that bisexuality isn’t a legitimate choice.” Also, regardless of whether, or how, the bisexual person comes out, there may always be feelings of uncertainty in regards to how their romantic and sexual needs will be met within in a monogamous relationship (should that be the type of relationship they choose).
On the note of coming out, the second hyphen appears. Consider a new synonym for the hyphen: The closet. While different from Wah’s hyphen in Diamond Grill, the process of “coming out of the closet” can absolutely cause inner turmoil for an individual. Rather than a single event, queer folks are forced to come out handfuls of times during their lives. This process can leave an individual constantly questioning whether or not they can be free to live as their true selves whether it be at the family dinner table, at school, in the grocery store, in the office, at a bar, etc. One can find themselves asking, “Will I be safe if I act as I wish?” “Will people stare?” “Will I make friends?” “If I come out will I be abandoned by those who love me?” This list is endless and leaves an individual feeling as though they are living a double life- a hyphenated life- where they are somewhere in between the closet and the outside world.
In what other ways can “living on the hyphen” be explored?
For a more visual example of how a queer individual lives a hyphenated life, check out this Youtube video by popular Youtube star Hannah Hart. (Disclaimer: the F word is used once in the video).
I would like to take this moment to note that while I would have loved to include all aspects of the queer community in which we can discuss a hyphenated life (especially for trans* folk), for the sake of the length of this blog post I have only spoke on experiences from which I have encountered and/or can relate to. Lastly, I apologize to those who are reading this post for their class assignments as I tried desperately to stick as close as possible to the recommended 300 words. I hope that these 500 words were at least enjoyable!
Really interesting post Brooklyn! I like your connection between Wah’s hyphen and the hyphen that queer folk experience. I believe that sexuality is on a spectrum. I find it interesting that humans have an incessant need to make things black or white, place them in a box with a clear label, so that we can better understand them. This is unfortunately one of the reasons I think so many people fear “coming out” and struggle with their sexual identity, because they feel the need to place a clear label on it for others to make sense of it.
Hey Brooklyn,
I thought this was an awesome post! I really appreciated how you connected the concept of the hyphen beyond race to sexuality. Throughout Diamond Grill Wah shows well how race and genetics act very much (like sexuality) on a spectrum commenting on how harmful, and in some ways absurd, the desire for racial “purity” is. To me it seems as though living on the hyphen, ownership one’s hyphenated complex genetic makeup or “race” is empowering because it directly challenges binary thinking. I see similarities here between the hyphenation of bisexual individuals. Our society has very dysfunctional ways of looking at sexuality, one of them being that society hyper-sexualizes queer folks, or equates bisexuality with promiscuity. I wonder if this might be one of the difference between race hyphenation and sexual hyphenation; that sexual hyphenation is more closely tied with serious prejudices regarding an individual’s moral character. (But at the same time there are a lot of racist prejudices that involve judgments of one’s character so maybe that’s not a good example).
The other thing I really like about your post was the discussion of “coming out.” Like you say, queer folks are forced to “come out” all the time, in the sense that they might have to declare their sexuality to someone else. You link this to Fred Wah Jr. The connection I see between sexual “coming out” and perhaps racial “coming out” is quite similar perhaps in the case of someone like Wah, who looks “White” and therefore does not wear his hyphen. In Wah’s case he actually does have to “come out” about his mix-raced ancestry. Many racialized subjects do not have the chance to live in the “closet,” in the sense that they wear their race. How does the way we wear sexuality differ from how we wear race? Or how are they similar?
Hi Brooklyn,
It’s particularly interesting how you related the hyphen particularly to bisexuality as opposed to homosexuality in general. Bisexuality, much like the Asian-Canadian identity, straddles exactly two completely different yet incredibly similar territories and in both situations, the individuals are either expected to choose one or the other, or assumed to already belong to or the other. Continuing upon the topic of sexuality and gender, the same concept appears to apply to individuals who identify as gender-fluid, almost as though it’s taboo to belong to two different categories. Quoting from the Broadway show Wicked, “there are precious few at ease with moral ambiguities so we act as though they don’t exist” and though identity, sexuality and gender aren’t exactly considered moral issues, they are rather ambiguous issues depending on how one approaches them.
At the same time, all the above issues are particularly concerned with the idea of double-ness. One can’t be both Asian and Canadian, just like they can’t like both males and females or be both male and female. A hybrid of exactly two things seems to be oddly offensive to some individuals. However, just based upon personal experiences, the same individual who would be offended or confused by a hybrid of two concepts would often be more accepting if the hybrid was composed of more than two concepts. By telling someone that I’m Taiwanese-Canadian, they respond that I can only be one or the other yet if I lie and say that I’m also partly French or Korean or some other cultural identity then suddenly it’s accepted much more readily and it becomes fascinating instead of indecisive. The same person who thinks that bisexuality is the same as “experimenting” will understand and accept pansexuality very easily. Why the odd insistence upon only being able to be exactly one or more than two? Ambiguity is defined as starting with two things, so why is it that when faced two, people are insistent that it is simply indecisiveness and that anything more than two is much more acceptable? What switch flips inside of the human psychology to allow for this strange shift? Quite a question worth thinking about in the dark hours of the night when plagued by insomnia.