Monthly Archives: March 2014

Go Ahead and Call Me Bossy, Dude

This Monday, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, along with her organization LeainIn.org, the Girl Scouts of America, and Lifetime, initiated the “Ban Bossy” movement, which aims to “encourage girls to lead” without the risk of being labeled “bossy.” The site’s message reads:

When a little boy asserts himself, he’s called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don’t raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.

Many powerful female celebrities and politicians have backed the movement, including Jennifer Garner, Jane Lynch, Beyonce, and Condoleeza Rice. It has been brought up that the women who participate in the media campaign- and Sandberg herself- have all overcome the adversity of being female and being called “bossy” and made something of themselves. Despite being called “bossy,” Wente claims, they have been pushed forward by the pejorative. This can negate the idea that “bossy” is a term that disempowers women- as long as we are able to put it along words like outspoken, opinionated, and tough, we can still be successful.

The campaign has been controversial since its beginning, with the response of many (including women) being that this is not the best way to overcome the adversity women face. Some are saying that banning “bossy” is a bad idea because girls need to “suck it up” and “reclaim it.” Others have presented  different options. As Jessica Roy mentions in her article, “this campaign focuses on policing language rather than bringing attention to important issues that have real impact on women and girls: the lack of affordable childcare, sexual assault, domestic abuse, girls’ lack of access to education worldwide or the gender pay gap, to name just a few.” Women have been and are continuously being marginalized throughout the world in ways that are more important than a word. Furthermore, the word “bossy” is not even close to the most derogatory word women face daily.

Throughout elementary and middle school, I was called bossy, obnoxious, you name it; yet I never felt patronized by the word. Of course, this is a personal opinion. While the “Ban Bossy” movement views the word with a more true-to-the-dictionary definition of “inclined to domineer,” I agree with this journalist who understands bossy as “inclined to dominate.” She also claims that “telling girls that they should be hurt if someone calls them “bossy” is submitting to the notion that being “bossy” is a bad thing,” which, personally, I don’t think it necessarily is. Being bossy means you are able to control a situation and that you are a strong and independent person, all of which are things that I believe should be striven for.

Although the intentions of the “Ban Bossy” campaign are pure, there are some significant flaws in its execution. Not only does it undermine the word and turn it into a negative, but it also ignores the more inherent problems of gender inequality in our society. The best thing the campaign has done is create conversation surrounding the marginalization and adversity that women do face. Rather than taking a term and trying to ban it because it makes girls feel bad, we should teach girls to empower themselves without allowing themselves to be torn down. Like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have said, “bitch is the new black.”