An undergraduate in arts # 1
Writer’s text:
However, streptomycin was later found to have large side effects, including hypersensitive reactions, renal and kidney damage and disturbance of balance due to the drug affects cranial nerve. One of the most potent derivative of streptomycin, Dihydrostreptomycin, is no longer used because it affects auditory nerve and may cause permanent deafness. (Harris, 1964, p.161)
Source text:
Side-effects with streptomycin include hypersensitivity reactions, renal and liver damage, and disturbance of balance due to the drug affecting the vestibular part of the 8th cranial nerve. The more potent derivative, Dihydrostreptomycin, is not now used because it affects the auditory part of the nerve and may give rise to permanent deafness. (From Harris, M. 1964, p.161)
Writer’s comments:
This is specific information. I paraphrased the sentences and acknowledged the author at the end.
Comment from a graduate student in Business:
I agree that you are paraphrasing it, though, it’s definitely a little bit longer. So what’s the point, you haven’t really paraphrases it, you actually have made it more wordy, more difficult maybe to understand.
Comment from a graduate student in Library & Information Studies:
I think I would use several sources, or at least two sources. Would enlist a newer source, and again it’s the same sort of, there are large chunks that are almost exactly the same. It’s very closely paraphrased, yeah. It’s good that the author is acknowledged, but doesn’t seem to be direct enough. It’s weird…there are such huge chunks with no quotation marks. If it was my writing, I would definitely try to either use quotation marks to say what I couldn’t paraphrase at all, and then try to further paraphrase.
Comment from a faculty member in Education:
Yeah, I would agree. She or he had to use the same because that’s the words about.
Comment from a faculty member in Education:
Okay, this student shows attempt to paraphrase, and the writer should get credit for citing the source. Again probably uses too much of the exact material from the source for it to count as a true paraphrase. Another word this student has been a bit lazy about paraphrasing, and probably should have either been more selective, or reworked the material or decided on a direct quote if all of the material in the source was exactly relevant. The student made a mistake here.