I think it happens to everyone – once we set on a path towards what we truly think we want to do….we get lost and lose the passion of why we truly did it in the first place.
I feel it’s been happening in more than one part of my life recently. Firstly in dragon boat. Our team has had our eyes set on both personal and two-year team goals. And I feel that those personal goals are taking over. And we’ve lost sight of what dragon boat is truly meant to be – passion, dedication, working together. As a team, for a team.
I suppose the same can be said for me and this career path I’m on. I think it might have to do with the courses I am currently taking. 3/5 of them are required courses and I’m just not feeling the life that I’ve been dreaming about.
I remember very clearly when sustainable living and inspiration through action became a passion. I remember how I spoke about sustaining our resources, and that the heart of the problem was not in the fact that we were using resources – but that we are using too much. That we were using too many unnecessary resources. That we can all live with a little less. But I spoke it with such ease. With positivity – with – I don’t know…with something that made others want to do it as well.
They say it’s not about what you say – not about how much logic you make – not how much effort you give. At the end of the day, it’s about how you make others feel when you speak. What is your presence? What is your drive? If your whole self is inspiring, then you will be. Because that’s what other people will remember.
When I say I want to rekindle the fire, I mean I want to feel consumed. Consumed by an unending burn that is within me. So immersed in it that it becomes me. I want that presence. I want to be that presence. I want the whole world to make sense. And try as I might, I can’t seem to find it right now.