Personal Sustainability Goal – A goal without a plan is just a wish.

April 11, 2012April 28, 2015

Rising from the Ashes

Failure. Disappointment. Despair.

Heartbeats pounding in my head. A lingering emptiness in my heart. A blaring horn in my serene quiet.

Now, more than ever, I feel that I can’t do this.

—

In a moment of utter numbness, we run. We find every way out. I find any way out and to settle. We make excuses. We give ourselves an alibi. Any reason to not take the blame.

But right now, I take it. I take it on fully. It’s okay to admit that I was wrong. That what I thought wasn’t the truth. That I was avoiding what was right in front of me.

And it’s now, after thinking and thinking and thinking, that I truly, wholly and completely believe that failure and disappointment is a permanent fixture in life. And it’s okay. Because failure does not define us.

Two steps forward, one step back. Heck – three steps back. Seems like the story of the human race. Growing technological knowledge, efficiency in production and communication, increased living standards coupled with decreased human happiness, growing morbidity, environmental deficit and socioeconomic gaps so large that we can’t even begin to wonder where we went wrong.

And still, these setbacks and failures still do not define who we are. They don’t tell us we’re bad or stupid people. At least, not yet.

Because it’s what we do after we acknowledge our responsibility and our inaction that tells us who we are.

From world-scale to home-scale, these failures and shortcomings will plague us. And we have to rise from them and do what we can. Because what we do after the proverbial storm is what truly defines us.

And I, for one, will accept the responsibility for these failures with humility and live to see another day where I can, and I will, choose to make the better choice. And what these better choices may be will always change – I don’t expect to know the consequences of the “better” actions of today. But if we keep choosing the “better” choices in life, maybe the consequences will be less devastating, the failures less extreme and defining actions easier to make.

April 9, 2012April 9, 2012

Picnic in the Office

Just a quick update cause I really should be studying. I’ve been recently getting into Public Health studies and it’s interdisciplinary approach. I’m really unsure of my future right now. But I guess I’m super happy about just taking the small things into my own hands.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with my good friend Caroline. She’s the new Vice-President Administration for the AMS and we’ve had many a conversation about sustainability and the many ways we can get lost and how she can apply it to her new job. I guess what I want to blog about is not our encounter yesterday, but the week before.

She’d read a book. I forgot the name of it. But she read a book about sustainability and was in despair about how she could possibly let go of some of her dreams to walk the walk and put sustainability at the forefront of her life.

Walking the walk – now that’s a concept that we all know is hard, not only to begin, but to carry through and continue. I know I myself have argued with myself over taking the train or flying to California to visit friends and family. What can I afford? What do I want? Do I have time? It’s all so overwhelming. What can we all do?

So what did I tell her? I told about where I was. I was where she was. Frustrated. Angry at myself. Unsure. Lost. Lonely. Fearful. I told her about this blog. About how my goal was one step at a time.

I told her about how Aidan started to try to be a vegetarian and then a vegan.

I told her about how my studies for my final project said knowledge isn’t enough. Knowledge makes us lost and make’s us fearful and also leaves us feeling powerless in such a huge and open world. I told her about Transformative Sustainability Learning and UBC’s Place and Promise on Sustainability Learning Pathways.

I told her about S.H.A.A.:

Sustainability Knowledge
Holistic Thinking
Awareness and Integration
Action for Change

I told her about how Community Based Learning and Community Based Research and working together were showing, more and more, to be some of the most powerful behavioural changing models.

I told her about how John Robinson said actions, seeing, doing, dreaming changed our behaviour more than our values can and more effectively.

And I told her what I thought. That there isn’t a right way. That sustainability doesn’t have a definition. That is both it’s beauty and it’s curse, like many of the greatest things in life. We are all lost and we all have a path and we can’t all be the same, but we can take the little steps. We can take it one choice at a time. One small step at a time. A little bit at a time.

And day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything is different.

So yesterday I stood in the grocery store to buy lunch for us. I looked at the beef and chicken and salmon for 20 minutes. And then I grabbed a baguette from Terra Breads (organic baked goods, contributing to local environmental and culinary organizations), some Turkey from Lilydale (farms in BC) and cheese from the Comox Valley.

Then we had a picnic in her office and talked about how this summer, we would bike when we could, tandem the sea wall, and visit the UBC Farm every week and try new foods.

I hope she knows just by wanting to take the steps, she’s making a difference. And I hope she feels better.

Song of the week: Chris Young – You, It Boy – Olivia Noelle ft. Kurt Schneider cover

February 16, 2012March 14, 2012

I’m eating pasta. Let me explain.

My first post – but this blog is going to be about the interesting stories derived from my personal sustainability goal for class – Sustainability 101 (Take it. Really. Though if you’re reading this…you probably already are).

My goal was to share one sustainability moment, story or moment with one other person at least once a day to give insight into my views of sustainability. Perhaps, through this, I am leading by example or maybe even inspire others. Hey! I can hope!

I have kept with my goal – but haven’t blogged about it yet. So instead of boring you about every instance in every day of the past two weeks; I’ll give you three stories. (Believe me – friends tell me I don’t shut up about the stuff I learn in this class).

“The World is Flat!” – The Story of the First

To give you insight…it was Friday night. And I was headed to a party. So my argument wasn’t quite as strong as it could have been, if you know what I mean. I was sitting on the bus in a heated debate with my friend, let’s call him J for the sake of giving him a name. We’re both a part of the Economics Students’ Association together, so I guess he felt the need to let me know that “switching faculties into LFS is specializing – you don’t need to specialize”. I was the first to point out that one – I haven’t even been accepted yet. And two – I wasn’t specializing. The appealing part of switching to Land and Food Systems was the very fact that I didn’t have to specialize and combine my interests in Economics and Sustainability.

At this point, J thought it was a good idea to point out that he didn’t believe in climate change. That’s right. You read that right. I know, right?! I couldn’t believe him. I asked him why? After all the science, the proven studies a hundred times over that anthropogenic causes were leading to climate change, global warming and not to mention the socioeconomic impacts. I even pointed out the weather – snowing just two weeks back and temperatures in the teens one day and single digits the next. It’s Vancouver. In March. Even if it is La Nina: it’s not NORMAL.

His answer: I think the earth moved closer to the sun or the sun is expanding. I think it was coming all along and that we don’t have that much to do with it.

I had no answer for him. I mean I didn’t know for sure it WASN’T in part due to this. I don’t even know if it were true or if I could deny. However, I knew about the studies and the research. My next question: what about the facts and science?

Scientists all around the world once said the world was flat. Anyone who thought different was thought to be crazy. What if this is one of those things?

What do you say to that?

“Money Moves Now” – The Divergence in the Second

As rare of an occurrence this was, we were having a family dinner. My sister, my mom and my cousin from Hong Kong (who works for Cathay Pacific and whom we only met up with because we saw him check-in on Facebook, which in itself is a whole different conversation of our world today). We spurred onto the topic of what I was studying or going to do with my life.

Let’s give me a background check, shall we? My sister is an economist. Like…a legit economist. She has her masters and has already had jobs at the Bank of Canada and other companies I could name and you’d recognize, and is now in charge of lots of money for an investment firm that I will not name lest you stalk her. The “New York Chans” as I like to dub them, are all lawyers and business people from Ivy League schools, et cetera. So other than my blip in Toronto at my school of choice – I’m honestly not that ahead. Immediate family yes…extended family not so much.

I said I was studying sustainability and hope to do work in international trade and development or public policy. None of which made sense to anyone at the table null my sister. Since I can’t translate “sustainability” into Chinese. I am ALSO studying economics, but because I’d rather focus on sustainability the comments that came were about how I was of a new generation and quite the idealist. I think my sister called me “noble”.

Then it was my sister’s turn to tell me a story – she told me she wasn’t going to lie. As much as she thought sustainability was important, her job requires her to make money and obviously invest in something that is profitable. Which currently, means oil.

Then I told her a story about our guest lecturer John Robinson and the story of West versus East, of Preservationism versus Conservationism. I couldn’t give her any solution. It’s not like I didn’t understand but I didn’t know what to tell her. I told her about the values and how Preservationism in the West meant that nature and the environment had inherent value and should be preserved not merely because it was a valuable resource to humans.

“Give me research that is both profitable and sustainable and money will surely go the way of the sustainable research.”

I mean. I thought it already was going the way of sustainable research. Maybe not? But this conversation did make me realize many things that I already knew and didn’t necessarily connect the dots to. In Macroeconomics, we’re taught that financial markets respond immediately and I believe the quote is “within seconds”. Prices change. It’s the good market, people that take a time to respond to the financial market. In short – money moves now. I can point out long term benefits all I want, but unless I can tell you about immediate profits and immediate gains, most businesses won’t be leaping off their seats.

I felt like I was back at square one. How can I change the world when my sister doesn’t even think I’ll get a job?

(There are jobs out there for me, aren’t there? Or do I have to become an entrepreneur or academia to do what I want?)

“Is Eating Red Meat Good for You?” – The Resolve from the Third

This is from today actually. It’s Responsible Consumption Week hosted by S.E.C. in the SUB, and there were a ton of vendors. After class, Nicole/Kristina and I went to explore bamboo toothbrushes at The Soap Dispensary, irony of Greener Printing Solutions and signed up for gift cards from Lunapads. We were promptly joined by Aidan and the food group was reunited (without Green Gorilla, tear)! We chatted for a good 20/30 minutes about a ton of things, sustainability issues obviously included.

Let me tell you, being surrounded by two vegans and a vegetarian (newly 30-day vegan, you go Aidan!) was um, intimidating. Since I’m not and not about to venture down that road to convince my family again any time soon. But still, there’s so much knowledge floating around about food. And seriously cool and inspiring to be around them (if you’re reading this, don’t embarrass me, thanks). Food is so close to your life – it’s an active choice all day every day. I want to be ABLE to take that choice sometime.

But moving onto the story. There came the topic of red meat and it’s possible health implications. Is it good or is it bad for your health? How can there be two totally contradicting articles from legitimate news sources? After reading the articles, the Globe and Mail and other sources (Hearts and Stroke Foundation, the Guardian, CNN, CBC, The Telegraph) write more convincingly of the later. It’s also pretty creepy and scary. But the point of this story is not the fact, but the act of discussing it.

Being surrounded by these knowledgeable peers, walking the talk and whatnot seriously made me think about what I could do. After being beat down this weekend about making my life about sustainability, this conversation was kind of enlightening. So what if I can’t convince my family? I’ll do this when I move out. I have my own money, I make my own food when I have time. This will be my resolve, my own personal revolution. I will do it one day when I move out and am in charge of my own food – and maybe it’ll stick. But for now, I’ll do my own Meatless Mondays, when I make my own food I’ll make it vegetarian. When I’m the store, I’ll make it a goal to try vegan, vegetarian, organic, local food.

I’ll be doing something. As quiet a revolution as it is, I’ll be doing something.

And that brings me to my title. Let me explain.

I made dinner for myself – mac and cheese with some onions. No less, worrying about the fact that it’s still cheese and the pasta was probably shipped from New Mexico. I made myself dinner and I made it vegetarian and I’m happier than I’ve been all weekend.

Song of the week on my playlist: Katy Perry – Part of Me (Original, mix, Tyler Ward cover…)