Monthly Archives: July 2019

The spirit of strategy is having one thing to know 10 000 things.

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What is the most important part of being successful? It is to be a good learner. Learning is the most important skill. Why? Because if you are good at learning it makes every other skill you must acquire easier.

So what does it take to be a good learner? It means you have to understand and acknowledge that your cup is empty.

A master was trying to explain something to a student. Now this student was not a brand new student, but a senior student who had learned many things. He had knowledge and experience aplenty to draw upon. But each time the master tried to explain something new to the student, the student kept trying to hold it up against his own notions of the way the world is and how it ought be, and he was unable to see the lessons in what the master was trying to teach him.

Finally, the master poured a full serving of tea into his own cup, and into the cup of the student. Then he told the student he wanted to give to him some of the tea from his own cup. He began pouring tea from his cup into the student’s cup, but the student’s cup was already full, and all the tea from the master’s cup spilled out over the cup onto the surface below.

The student said, “Master, you can’t pour anything into my cup until I empty it to make room for what you are trying to give me.”, and the master replied “Yes I know.” “And I can’t give you any new thoughts or ideas or perspectives on life’s lessons until you clear out some thoughts that are already teeming in your mind to make room for what I have to teach you.” Then the master paused for a brief moment, meeting the student’s eyes with his own knowing look and calmly but sternly said: ” If you truly seek understanding, then first, empty your cup!”

The student pondered for a moment with a look of absolute bewilderment. Then a look of enlightenment came over him, followed by a smile, and a look of receptiveness. The master started to explain again, and this time the student saw what the master was trying to say.

(http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?EmptyYourCup)

This is, I think, the first step to success.

The most successful people in the world do a few things really well. They all wake up early. They all use some sort of journal. They all read and learn constantly. The most successful people in the world learn constantly then so can us mere mortals. Ancora Imparo. How is it that all these amazingly successful people do this? Because they understand that Mastery is a path. You will never be the best you can be. You will always be learning. In other words It is the road, not the inn.

So knowing that you must learn constantly what then is the next secret? It is figuring out how bad you want it. I’m a big fan of Eric Thomas. He compares success to drowning. Basically if you have ever been drowning you know that all you think about is getting air. You don’t think about your girlfriend or partying or getting laid or anything. All you’re focused on is getting air. So when you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath you will find your focus.

At the end of the day you must find a reason why your goals are worth more than anything else. If you can’t find a reason then you’ll just end up doing anything else. At the end of the day, success doesn’t come by saying yes to training. It doesn’t come by saying yes to your goals. It comes by saying no to the hundreds of other things that may detract you from your goals. Success means sacrificing what you may want right now for the future you want to have.

Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt. And sacrifice hurts. I’ll quote Eric Thomas again:
Most of you say you want to be successful but you don’t want it bad. You just kind of want it. You don’t want it badder than you want to party. You don’t want it as much as you want to be cool. Most of you don’t want success as much as you want to sleep. Some of you love sleep more than you love success.

You must stay hungry. Do not be satisfied. Ever. Do not be satisfied with what you know or what you’ve learned because there is always more. Do not be satisfied with the person you are because you can be better. It’s really easy to win a race when you’re in the last heat.Don’t be satisfied with winning a shitty race. Put yourself into situations where you will be challenged to grow as a person.

Doing what you love means doing a lot of things you hate. As Tim Grover says “Cleaners sweat the small things” Champions go after every opportunity to improve no matter how small. Those small things add up.

You need to decide who you want to be. If you want to be average then do whatever the average person does. And so expect average results and performance. If you want to achieve something you’ve never achieved you must be willing to do something you’ve never done. It’s hard work. As the All Blacks say: Champions Do Extra. Unfortunately for those of us who want to be champions there are no crowds lining the extra mile.

No assholes

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Some athletes I work with are very difficult to reach. They will do their workouts and have no problem working hard on the court or in the gym. I might ask them to do something, that I think is very easy, like donating a few dollars to an athlete in a third world country to help with their travel costs or reading a book on mindset or resiliency that I think will help them be a better person…

Most of these athletes will follow my instructions begrudgingly because I’ll be mad if they don’t. I have several mentors in sports. When they ask me to do something I don’t do it because they want me to do it or they’re making me. I do it because I want to be better. If I can be better everything will be better.

This reminds me of the USA women’s volleyball program. On their whiteboard in the gym it says “Job one: Growth Mindset.” Coach Karch Kiraly would explain this as the realization that nobody on the team is good enough yet. The players are not good enough. The coaching staff is not good enough. Everyone needs to be better. Constantly. We can always improve. We can always improve as athletes or coaches and as people. 

This is highlighted by the latin phrase Ancora Imparo. This was said by Michelangelo at the age of 87. It means “Still I learn.” If at 87 somebody like Michelangelo still has the attitude that he needs to change and grow then perhaps that’s an indication that we all need to improve ourselves. 

Being a good person is important. I try to work with all my athletes on this constantly. Some of them have yet to understand. The New Zealand All Blacks are the most successful sports team in history. When you walk into their team room you will read on the wall “no dickheads.” Why does it say this? Because the All Blacks also have a saying “Better people make better All Blacks.” If it’s good enough for the best sports team in the world it’s good enough for my programs…

What does it mean to be a good person? To me it means that you should do more for others than you do for yourself. It’s not hard. It could be showing genuine appreciation or gratitude. It could be going out of your way to help someone without wanting a return on your investment. I had the great pleasure of working with a former professional volleyball player from Romania a few summers ago. He and I were coaching a summer volleyball camp together. When I was giving a presentation on goal setting he asked to interrupt me. He then told the kids that one very important part of reaching your goals is understanding that to get a cookie you need to give a cookie. If you go out of your way to help others people will help you. He said this is what he loved about Canada because everyone helps each other.

A really good example of this is Mark Bell. Mark is a powerlifter. He’s squatted over 1000 pounds in competition. After his powerlifting career he opened Super Training Gym. He allows lifters to train there and learn from him at no cost. When asked why he does this for free I believe he said “because I wanna be rich.”

Many of my athletes understand this to a certain extent. So they’ll do it. Maybe they just do it because I require it. Maybe they really just want to be better athletes. It doesn’t work that way unfortunately. You need to want to be a better person because you desire to be a good person. Not just so you can be a good athlete and win. There are a lot of commercials that say “sports skills are life skills.” Friendship, kindness, and service are sports skills which translate into life skills. One of my athletes said that you are an athlete for a finite amount of time but what you learn lasts forever. Also very true. 

Don’t be a better person to get something. Be a better person because you can be a good person. Marcus Aurelius said “Stand Straight. Not Straightened.” What does this mean? It means that be a good person because you are a good person. Not because you have to be. Be the person you can be because you will make the world a better place. Not because you are looking for an outcome for yourself.

Coach Joe Erhmann, the author of InsideOut Coaching and a former NFL Football player, explains in his book on transformational leadership the expectations of one of his coaches. One of his former coaches used to say “DIG.” That was his coach’s cue phrase. What does it mean? It means Dignity, Integrity, Grace. This is how athletes should act at all times. Especially when under pressure.

I don’t often use that phrase but I appreciate it greatly. However, at the beginning of every season I write one word on the whiteboard. Assertiveness. I tell my athletes that we are going to be assertive this season and forever. Then I explain what it means. I believe it means this: Assertiveness is the behaviour of emphasizing self confidence & persistent determination to express oneself in a positive way. 

When you teach something to somebody you are not only teaching them. You are teaching everybody that they will come into contact with. Your character is your brand. You should always promote your character to the best of your ability. You will get something out of it but this shouldn’t be your motivation. Great men and women make everybody and everything around them better simply by being who they are.

You are capable of more; be the person you know you can be. To everyone. Be good to people who can do nothing for you because how you treat anybody is how you treat everybody. Be a good person even when nobody is watching.