Some athletes I work with are very difficult to reach. They will do their workouts and have no problem working hard on the court or in the gym. I might ask them to do something, that I think is very easy, like donating a few dollars to an athlete in a third world country to help with their travel costs or reading a book on mindset or resiliency that I think will help them be a better person…
Most of these athletes will follow my instructions begrudgingly because I’ll be mad if they don’t. I have several mentors in sports. When they ask me to do something I don’t do it because they want me to do it or they’re making me. I do it because I want to be better. If I can be better everything will be better.
This reminds me of the USA women’s volleyball program. On their whiteboard in the gym it says “Job one: Growth Mindset.” Coach Karch Kiraly would explain this as the realization that nobody on the team is good enough yet. The players are not good enough. The coaching staff is not good enough. Everyone needs to be better. Constantly. We can always improve. We can always improve as athletes or coaches and as people.
This is highlighted by the latin phrase Ancora Imparo. This was said by Michelangelo at the age of 87. It means “Still I learn.” If at 87 somebody like Michelangelo still has the attitude that he needs to change and grow then perhaps that’s an indication that we all need to improve ourselves.
Being a good person is important. I try to work with all my athletes on this constantly. Some of them have yet to understand. The New Zealand All Blacks are the most successful sports team in history. When you walk into their team room you will read on the wall “no dickheads.” Why does it say this? Because the All Blacks also have a saying “Better people make better All Blacks.” If it’s good enough for the best sports team in the world it’s good enough for my programs…
What does it mean to be a good person? To me it means that you should do more for others than you do for yourself. It’s not hard. It could be showing genuine appreciation or gratitude. It could be going out of your way to help someone without wanting a return on your investment. I had the great pleasure of working with a former professional volleyball player from Romania a few summers ago. He and I were coaching a summer volleyball camp together. When I was giving a presentation on goal setting he asked to interrupt me. He then told the kids that one very important part of reaching your goals is understanding that to get a cookie you need to give a cookie. If you go out of your way to help others people will help you. He said this is what he loved about Canada because everyone helps each other.
A really good example of this is Mark Bell. Mark is a powerlifter. He’s squatted over 1000 pounds in competition. After his powerlifting career he opened Super Training Gym. He allows lifters to train there and learn from him at no cost. When asked why he does this for free I believe he said “because I wanna be rich.”
Many of my athletes understand this to a certain extent. So they’ll do it. Maybe they just do it because I require it. Maybe they really just want to be better athletes. It doesn’t work that way unfortunately. You need to want to be a better person because you desire to be a good person. Not just so you can be a good athlete and win. There are a lot of commercials that say “sports skills are life skills.” Friendship, kindness, and service are sports skills which translate into life skills. One of my athletes said that you are an athlete for a finite amount of time but what you learn lasts forever. Also very true.
Don’t be a better person to get something. Be a better person because you can be a good person. Marcus Aurelius said “Stand Straight. Not Straightened.” What does this mean? It means that be a good person because you are a good person. Not because you have to be. Be the person you can be because you will make the world a better place. Not because you are looking for an outcome for yourself.
Coach Joe Erhmann, the author of InsideOut Coaching and a former NFL Football player, explains in his book on transformational leadership the expectations of one of his coaches. One of his former coaches used to say “DIG.” That was his coach’s cue phrase. What does it mean? It means Dignity, Integrity, Grace. This is how athletes should act at all times. Especially when under pressure.
I don’t often use that phrase but I appreciate it greatly. However, at the beginning of every season I write one word on the whiteboard. Assertiveness. I tell my athletes that we are going to be assertive this season and forever. Then I explain what it means. I believe it means this: Assertiveness is the behaviour of emphasizing self confidence & persistent determination to express oneself in a positive way.
When you teach something to somebody you are not only teaching them. You are teaching everybody that they will come into contact with. Your character is your brand. You should always promote your character to the best of your ability. You will get something out of it but this shouldn’t be your motivation. Great men and women make everybody and everything around them better simply by being who they are.
You are capable of more; be the person you know you can be. To everyone. Be good to people who can do nothing for you because how you treat anybody is how you treat everybody. Be a good person even when nobody is watching.