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1.4 Social and Emotional Development: Social Skills

Social Skills

Atypical social skills1 refer to those behaviours that indicate that children are having difficulty relating to others and that may place them or others at risk in terms of safety. Children who display atypical behaviors and/or symptoms in the development of their social skills should be referred to the appropriate specialists as early as possible. Atypical social skills can be indicators of serious developmental difficulties in childhood, for example, children who hurt pets and other animals. These actions are not the same as “acting out” or when children are “going through a phase” as can sometimes happen when major changes at home happen, like death in the family or parents’ divorces. For children who consistently have these kinds of difficulties, it is recommended  that parents pay attention to them and find professional help, rather than wait for children “outgrow” these behaviours.

Some social indicators of atypical social behaviours include:

  • A child showing little or no affect since the very early stages

Some indicators that appear in the preschool years and onwards:

  • Always using the same tone (“monotone”) when speaking;
  • Destroying  toys and other objects and property;
  • Being physically aggressive towards other children and adults;
  • Being verbally aggressive towards others;
  • Hurting animals;
  • Avoiding eye contact to caregivers, friends and strangers;
  • Acting scared or panicking when someone moves quickly;
  • Being overly clingy to others at all times;
  • Showing same level of affection to caregivers and strangers;
  • Lying most of the time;
  • Running away from home or school.
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1.4 Social and Emotional Development: Emotional Skills

Emotional Skills

Children with atypical emotional development1 have difficulties when they deal with feelings and emotions. Understanding and sharing feelings and emotions is very hard for these children. Just as with social skills, difficulties with emotional development are usually indicators of serious developmental difficulties.  Children with atypical emotional development do not “grow out” of their difficulties. They may be at risk of injuring themselves or others. Children with special needs in this area require immediate attention and should be referred to the appropriate specialists as early as possible, rather than waiting for children “outgrow” these difficulties.

Some emotional indicators of atypical social behaviours include:

  • A child showing little or no affect since the very early stages

Some indicators that appear in the preschool years and onwards:

  • Showing low or no energy;
  • Changing moods very easily; e.g., from happy to mad or to sad for no apparent reason;
  • Being very difficult to comfort or calm when upset;
  • Being unable to calm him or herself down, or self-soothe;
  • Having difficulties with adapting to different situations, with little or no self-regulation;
  • Avoiding eye contact with caregivers, friends and strangers;
  • Acting scared or panicking when someone moves quickly;
  • Being overly clingy to others at all times;
  • Showing same level of affection to caregivers and strangers;
  • Lying most of the time;
  • Hurting others;
  • Hurting self;
  • Being withdrawn and/or seeming overly shy;
  • Crying or laughing often for no obvious reason;
  • Over eating or under eating on a daily basis;
  • Eating non-food items, like toys or pebbles;
  • Sleeping too much or very little;
  • Difficulties falling asleep.

Some indicators that appear from early school years and onwards:

  • Having intense temper tantrums almost on a daily basis;
  • Engaging in sexually inappropriate behavior, like frequently touching and rubbing private parts (theirs or others);
  • Continuing to wet the bed or having toileting accidents;
  • Having difficulty paying attention and concentrating;
  • Running away from home or school;
  • Being afraid of common objects or of participating in daily activities (e.g. going to the bathroom, using rulers, scissors, etc.).
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1.5 Communication Development: Pragmatics

Pragmatics

Language experts use the term “pragmatic language”1 to refer to how we use language for social reasons. That is, when we use language to communicate our thoughts and ideas to those around us – and is not simply making sounds.

Some children may not know how to use language socially. Some signs of pragmatic language difficulties may include:

  • Having little or no turn-taking skills;
  • Getting very close to others when speaking, almost face to face;
  • Having little or no eye contact with others, not even caregivers, siblings or peers when communicating with them (unless dictated by one’s culture);
  • Finding it difficult to understand and answer questions after age 6;
  • Not taking turns when speaking, as if speaking in ‘circles’ after age 3;
  • Giving brief and short answers to all questions, after age 5;
  • Jumping from one topic in a conversation to another with no transition;
  • Not keeping up with the topic of the conversation, or “going off on tangents”.

Children who cannot make their language “work” for them in these ways find this very frustrating. They will need as much professional support as children who cannot understand or speak, or with receptive or expressive language delays.

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