One of the concerns that The Stories We Tell brought up was the the question of a story’s ownership. Who “owns” a story? What causes an event that somebody has been through to become “theirs,” giving them the right to tell it over anyone else that has also been affected? In The Stories We Tell, we saw multiple perspectives of a shared story about a family, their deceased mother Diane and people who have been affected and pulled into her world, told through a collective narrative between Sarah, Diane’s immediate family: her husband, children and, further out, her lovers and friends. But we saw that once the idea of beginning to tell a story emerged, there was conflict between who had the right to tell the story and multiple narratives coming from Harry, Michael and Sarah, all telling their sides of the same story.
Perspective is an interesting thing in The Stories We Tell. Since the main focus of the narrative is about Diane, who has already passed away, the only sides of the story that we witness are from the people that are connected to her in some way. Due to this reason, we miss a large portion of the story that is being told: Diane’s own perspective. In a way, it is ironic that a story about a person’s life lacks their own perspective. Instead, because of Diane’s death, we can only see what other people saw of her. This leads to multiple and sometimes contradicting narratives. For example, when Sarah is interviewing her family as well as Diane’s friends, in one instance, one person states that Diane was a person that wholeheartedly expressed herself on the outside and did not have an inner face to show to others. Immediately afterward, the film shows another person who states contradictorily that Diane was very good at controlling the faces that she showed to others. Since we are only hearing what these interviewees knew of Diane, neither piece of information about Diane is false, because it is their own perspective of her, but it nevertheless leaves us with two conflicting views of Diane.
The question of ownership is one that I felt was hard to entangle. Halfway through the film, when the question arises of who will tell the story, we saw that multiple people wanted to, creating a dispute over who had the right to, whose story it was to tell, and who had the “true” story. Harry stated that the affair that he had with Diane was so intense and profound that it was his own to tell, nobody else. But Michael was also inspired to write his own version once he found out about Diane’s affair. However, this raises the question of what the “truth” of the story is. While both Harry and Michael possess insight into events that the other did not, at the same time neither of them also have the entire story. In fact, even though Sarah brought together everyone in Diane’s life, it appears that the story is still incomplete, because it lacks Diane’s own voice.
I think that the right to tell a story about someone is not a “right” to be possessed, but all perspectives of a life narrative are valuable, because it offers its own unique insight. The Stories We Tell may be an incomplete view of Diane from the lack of her own voice, but at the same time, the story is not just about Diane, but it is the story of every person involved in its telling.
The issues you raise in this post are compelling and insightful. I am particularly interested with the idea of “who had the ‘true’ story of Diane, as well as the right to distribute such stories. Indeed, both Harry and Michael possess versions of Diane that are impartial. And it is certainly ironic that Diane’s story lacks her own voice and perspective. I am skeptical, however, as to whether both Harry and Michael would have had received a version of Diane’s life that is more full and truthful, had she been alive to offer her perspective. For the purpose of the documentary, the story would definitely have seemed more complete, as all members of Polley’s family are included. In terms of veracity, however, I feel that Diane’s version would have just convoluted the story’s authenticity, as she would have maintained her lie to Michael. It is, in fact, only Diane’s death that led to the truth of her affair being discovered, for if she were alive, she would have likely prevented the affair from coming to light.
Hi Wayne,
I find your point about Diane’s own voice muddling the story’s authenticity really interesting. I hadn’t considered that Diane would have tried to maintain her lie to Michael if she had a voice in the documentary, but it seems very likely, because she did so while raising Sarah, and the film showed that she continued her affair with Harry even after her relationship with Michael was rekindled. It appears that if Diane was included in her own documentary, it would have added a new layer of complexity as to what the “truth” is.
Thanks for your comment!
Hey Clement,
You have an interesting point about how The Stories We Tell brings up the idea of story ownership. Indeed, the film’s multiple perspectives from people connected to Diane questions who has the right to tell the story, and who has the “true” story. Although all the perspectives in this life narrative are valuable, Diane’s own voice is left out in the film. This highlights the common theme of media ethics and how it represents those who are not able to represent themselves. I think The Stories We Tell presents Diane in an ethical way due to its numerous perspectives from different people. As you pointed out, these perspectives sometimes contradict each other, portraying how no one knew Diane’s story as well as herself. What are your thoughts on the film’s ethics in presenting Diane?
-Christine T.
Hey Christine, thanks for the comment.
I think the film did a good job at delivering an objective view of Diane, despite how contradictory that might seem. In a way, the clashing views of all the interviewees helps in that regard. Since all of their statements are their personal views, all of them come together to form this picture of Diane seen from multiple points of view. While the statements itself contradict each other, they give us as the viewers a collective point of view, so that we can see all of Diane’s sides that she displays to different people.