Peer Review Sydney Storie – Memo to Evan Crisp

To: Sydney Storie, UBC ENGL 301 Student

From: Alison Ma, UBC ENGL 301 Student

Date: July 23, 2020

Subject: Peer Review of Writing with YOU Attitude Assignment

Thank you for your suggestions directed to Evan Crisp with a YOU attitude. Your memorandum is easy to follow. Please check below the comments I have after reading your memo.

First Impression

The memo is neat and concise. You have addressed the concern with the YOU attitude, which makes the reader comfortable to read. Throughout the memo, standing in both Evan and his Professor’s shoes helps Evan to keep in mind about the correct attitude that he should have when addressing to his professor.

Introduction

• Your introduction is straight to the point, which opens up the topic of how to improve writing email messages to professors.
• I really like your reminder to Evan about the stress that everyone has,” not only the students but also the professors”. This is strong and impressive.

Organization

• The structure is well-organized with subheadings and bullet points.
• Your recommendations follow the flow of an email message, starting from opening, content, and closing segment, which makes the reader easy to follow.

Content

• There are comments from every part of the email; the arguments are clear and straight to the point.
• Nice examples to support your arguments, such as ‘ttfn’ and ‘p.s.’
• Without addressing Evan with the pronoun “you”, it is very comfortable to read and does not single him out.
• Using subheadings in this memo might be more useful to address the particular parts in his email message.

Writing Style

• Your tone is friendly with professional words.
• There is no imperative verb in your memo, which is more friendly and positive.

Grammar

• It is almost perfect with no grammatical mistakes in your memo. Please check below:
  In the tips part,
  “Being specific and getting straight to the point [allow] for clarity rather than confusion.”

Conclusion

This is a really nice piece of memo. I like the way you keep reminding Evan about the respect and professionalism that are necessary for him to address. You have also demonstrated an excellent YOU attitude in this assignment with useful suggestions. I have provided some suggestions for your memo, please review above. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at alison.ma@alumni.ubc.ca. Well done!

Sydney Storie’s Memo to Evan Crisp