Good day 301;
Writing Tip: Avoid pronouns: me/ I/ you/ your/
Try to edit out as many pronouns as possible – this will increase the use of nouns (which is good because nouns ‘name’ and provide detail and improve conciseness).
Take a look at this example:
- What an effective writing team means to me…
Rewrite: Description of an effective writing team …
- My background and the value that I intend to bring to the team …
Rewrite: Previous experiences and academic values …
Note how replacing pronouns with nouns provides details.
- “What …. means to me” / becomes a “description”
- “I intend to bring” / becomes ‘academic values’
Writing Tip: Keep your eye on too many unnecessary words. For example:
“I am currently an undergraduate at the University of British Columbia majoring and pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Anthropology. Along with my major in Anthropology comes the strength of writing various research papers within the field (36 words).
Rewrite:
“I am currently an undergraduate at the University of British Columbia majoring in Anthropology, a degree which has considerably strengthened my skills with research writing (24 words).
Example:
“Throughout my undergraduate experience, I have been able to strength my writing skills and communication abilities. I often create presentations for classes involving many anthropology or archaeology topics, as well as I present at BC Ferries as a trainer to new hires. I run both new hire orientations, classroom days and update training. I have also taken courses within BC Ferries to refine my skills in adult higher education as presenting within a corporate level (75 words).”
Rewrite:
As a student of Anthropology, I have developed excellent writing and communication skills. As an employee, I have participated in adult higher education courses and I have trained new hires, running both orientation and updating sessions (38 words).
Example:
My classes here at UBC have offered little in terms of professional or technical writing. Apart from communication with professors, I have not learned or practiced much that would be relevant towards ENGL 301. With that said, I believe my strengths come from my workplace experiences rather than formal writing skills. For example, my most recent position has my coworkers and managers located all over, which means lots of e-mails being written to give updates, send results, provide information, or to ask questions. (83 words)
Rewrite:
My previous UBC classes have offered little in terms of professional or technical writing that is relevant to Engl. 301. However, my work experience has required communicating with co-workers and managers internationally with e-mail reports, updates, and responses to questions (40 words).
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