Peer Review of ‘Definition – Systematic Desensitization’

To: Emily Krisnamurti, Student of ENGL 301
From: Meagan Rosenberg, Peer of ENGL 301
Date: September 22, 2019
Subject: Review of Your Document Definition – Systematic Desensitization Assignment
Link to Definition: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2019wa/2019/09/22/definition-systematic-desensitization/

Hi Emily! I had a chance to review your document ‘Definition- Systematic Desensitization’. Please see my review below for your document. I hope you find my feedback helpful for editing your piece!

First Impressions: It was a very well sequenced read and easy to follow along with for a member of a non-technical audience.

Grammar and Spelling: In the paragraph under the expanded definition, the second sentence “This experienced” should be changed to “This experience”. In the third sentence of the same paragraph I would recommend changing “one has on a certain object or creature or situation” to “one has on a certain object, creature or situation”. In the fourth sentence I believe you should add an ‘a’ before psychologist. Lastly, the second last sentence, I believe the ‘session’ should be plural to ‘sessions’.

Visuals/ Font: I really liked your use of font and the visual you chose for your definition, however your visual was not sourced or labelled, so I would recommend reviewing that.

References: In the steps to follow for the definition assignment we were asked to use no less than three outside references and I see you only have two in your references section. I think this may change once you have reviewed and sourced your image that was used.

Purpose: I believe the introduction you have sounds great for anyone not in our ENGL class, yet the steps for the assignment required us to have the objectives and criteria included into the introduction – so you may want to try and add that in!

Concluding Comments: I hope these suggestions make sense and provide you with some guidance for editing your document:

• Grammar and spelling check
• Label your image source
• Add more references if you are able
• Include objectives and criteria in the introduction

This was a great read and you nailed the definitions for the intended audience of non-technical viewers. I believe after editing the elements above you should get a very good mark! Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.