To: Annie Maurer
From: Shujun Peng
Peer Review/ term: Standard Deviation
Thank you for submitting your definition assignment for lesson 1: 3; this is an enjoyable read. Please see the review of the document below with suggestions for improvements, which you might find useful.
First impression:
This looks like a well-written document with all the assignment requirements well-organized, including good visuals correctly labeled and extensive works cited list correctly formatted.
Content:
The document is complete according to assignments; it included :
- A detailed introduction
- Three forms of definition
- Types of expansion
- A visual
- A work cited lists
Organization:
The overall organization of the document is clear and shows the author has read the instructions carefully.
- A good introduction is included, the intended audience is clearly defined in the introduction paragraph. The purpose of writing this assignment is also included.
- Subtitles are highlighted, gives the reader a clear guide when reading.
- The title of figure 1 is directly below the visual on the word doc.
- The document ends abruptly, maybe a short conclusion would help readers know that the explanation of the term is finished.
Expression:
- The use of parenthetical definition is excellent, assists with understanding the expanded definition.
- Overall, the expression is professional, and have avoided a big chunk of text.
Grammar and Technical Errors
Please refer to the following in regards to minor grammatical errors:
In the expanded definition
-“ Standard deviation can only used to describe data with quantitative variables”, change “ can only used to” can only be used”
-“ The standard deviation is showed pictorially in Figure 1”, change the word “ showed” to “shown”.
Work Cited list:
Impressive works cited list—however, the correct MLA style is required; yours is APA style.
Missing one in-text citation in the expanded definition section:
“The sum of the squared differences between a data point and the mean ()”; including the author’s name and page number in the parenthesis that you provided.
Concluding comments:
Your definition is interesting to read; informative and nicely organized, thank you. With the following edits, and a good proofread for small errors, this will be a really useful and excellent document:
-Correcting minor grammar errors
-Editing in-text citation and change the work cited style
-Including a proper conclusion will be helpful
Thank you and please feel free to ask any questions, it has been a pleasure reviewing this work. Enjoy.
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