By Jessica on October 18, 2020
To: Nicholas Jang, English 301 99A Student Writer
From: Jessica Lee, English 301 99A Student Reviewer
Date: October 18th, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Research Proposal: How UBC CVC can improve engagement from its general members.
Thank you for submitting this proposal on how UBC CVC can improve its club’s engagement from its general members. The overall proposal provides a great starting point by suggesting a launch strategy that will allow general members to have more opportunities to participate in events. The following are some suggestions for further improving this proposal:
First Impressions:
A major strength to this proposal is how well it identifies the several issues that the CVC is currently facing (such as the outbreak of COVID-19 and the existence of other similar social clubs) and how the writer plans on tackling these problems.
- An area for improvement would be to elaborate more on the details of the launch strategy and specifically what methods will be taken to attract more members. Would love to learn more about what “multi-faceted strategy” entails.
Organization:
The proposal is well organized and logical. It includes all the elements that were required in the assignment outline with all the headings are correctly titled.
Introduction:
The introduction provides a general idea of what the UBC CVC is and does. Please kindly find below a few suggestions:
- It states that the CVC is “previously known as the Chinese Varsity Club”, perhaps the introduction could expand on why it is no longer known as the Chinese Varsity Club or what the CVC stands for now.
- The introduction identifies the CVC’s current problem as needing to “adapt and evolve to retain its status amongst the UBC’s student body”, yet the rest of the proposal suggests that the “dip in membership numbers” is the issue. Perhaps the introduction could rephrase in a way that it aligns with the rest of the proposal better?
Statement of Problem:
This section of the proposal identified the issue the CVC is currently facing very clearly. Please find below a suggestion on how to refine this section:
- Considering the drop in club memberships is a numerical issue, perhaps by comparing numbers from previous years to this year’s or even mentioning how much membership has dropped would allow readers to have an even clearer perspective on the problem at hand.
- Be direct on how COVID-19 has limited the hosting of events
Proposed Solution:
Similar to the aforementioned suggestion, this proposal would be much more refined if the “multi-faceted launch strategy” is elaborated and expanded upon.
- Be specific on the type of events CVC proposes to host
- Maybe list examples of what kind of partnerships and discounts the CVC plans on participating
Scope:
The five questions are well-thought-out and reasonable which should help the report/proposal gain valuable information on how to resolve the issue at hand. Great job on outlining these five areas of inquiry!
Methods:
The plan for collecting primary (interviews) and secondary data sources (admission and partnership statistics) are well-thought out and should work well with the five questions listed in the scope of the proposal. Please kindly find below a suggestion:
- Perhaps consider adopting surveys instead of interviews for the primary source of data. Considering the issue at hand is the drop in membership numbers, maybe it is best to learn from the tarted audience of the CVC club (e.g. UBC students & CVC members) why they are less keen on joining the CVC or what they hope to see from the CVC in the future.
My Qualifications:
The writer’s role as the CVC’s head of culture and his previous experience as a marketing analyst seems to make him a promising figure to investigate the problem. Very excited to see what the writer plans on doing!
Conclusion
The conclusion covered the overall basics of the proposal. It can definitely be expanded to a further extent, covering all the sections mentioned in the proposal.
- Perhaps mention how the five questions listed in the scope will allow you to draw upon a solution better targeted to CVC’s problems
- Perhaps mention how your qualification is a strength in this investigation
Grammar and Technical Errors:
The research proposal had very little to no grammatical or technical errors. The use of language was sophisticated and communicated the problem clearly. Great job!
Overall, the proposal was well-written – it shed light on the critical issues the CVC is facing right now and suggested potential solutions that could improve the current situation. I hope my suggestions help you during your revision process and please don’t hesitate in contacting me should you have any further questions or concerns.
Link to Nicholas Jang’s Assignment: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2020wa/2020/10/14/nicholas-jang-assignment-2-1/
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