To: Syed Ahmed
From: Elton Kok
Date: October 19th, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal – Proposal for increasing teacher morale at TNS Beaconhouse, Pakistan
Hi Syed,
The proposal, “Increasing Teacher Morale at TNS Beaconhouse, Pakistan” is a very impressive, well-organized proposal. A review and suggestions regarding the proposal is below.
First Impressions
This is a well-written proposal filled with passion from not only the writer, but the teachers at the TNS Beaconhouse. This passion will help in later stages of the assignment for data collection and writing the final draft of the report. The proposal was well-organized into subsections and written according to the assignment guidelines. The problem was clearly stated as teachers at this educational institution feel stressed and frustrated due to overburdened workload.
Organization
The document is well-organized into distinct subsections with bold headings, making it easy for the reader to scan through the proposal. References are cited properly as a works cited at the bottom of the proposal and correctly inserted as in-text citation. The scope and proposed solution clearly lists what it is this proposal intends to explore and the possible solutions.
Introduction
This is a good introduction that introduces the educational institution with the programs it offers and its accolades. It further introduces the teachers and students at the institution and transitions well into the next section to clearly state the problem. The introduction concludes with the remark of how the institution tries to offer the best education to its “clientele”. This wording is somewhat awkward as students are not often seen as clientele for an educational institution, but rather just as students.
Statement of Problem
The statement of problem clearly states the overburdened workload the teachers at TNS Beaconhouse feel and how it impacts the educational quality of the institution. It underlines the various roots of why teachers at the TNS Beaconhouse feel overburdened, such as no way of accounting for extra workload, and hidden workload outside of the job description.
Proposed Solution
The proposed solution has many possible suggestions that could help reduce the frustrations and overburdened feeling from the teachers. The proposed solution also states that happy teachers will have more energy to cater towards the collective needs of their students. Perhaps a possible avenue to explore as a solution is to focus on what makes the teachers happy to come into work everyday to teach.
Scope
The proposed areas of inquiries well defined and are great guiding questions. Again, another possible guiding inquiry could be to explore what exactly makes teachers happy in their profession. A possibly useful resource could also be asking students on if they have felt their education has been impacted from the stress the teachers feel.
Methods
The methods section is well-written and defines how primary data will be collected (surveys and interviews). A suggestion when collecting primary data is to ensure to interview a variety of teachers (those that teach the lower grades and those that teach upper grades). Another possible suggestion in this area could be to explore the opinions of students as they could have a valuable perspective on this issue.
Qualifications
The writer is clearly well qualified to research this topic. The writer holds a Masters degree from the University of California and has worked at the TNS Beaconhouse for over three and a half years. As such, the writer is not only highly qualified academically, but has a considerable amount of on-the-job experience to research a solution and understand the frustrations felt by the teachers.
Intended Audience
The intended audience for this proposal seems well-suited as the management could implement these suggested changes.
Grammar
The following grammar errors have been identified upon reviewing this proposal.
- In the Statement of Problem, the “covid19” disease should be properly capitalized to indicate it is an acronym as “COVID-19”
- In the Intended Audience section, instead of using the number “100s”, it should just be the word “hundreds”
Overall Impressions/Concluding Comments
This document is a well-written, well-organized proposal backed with the passion of the writer. The proposal has clearly defines the problem and has great guiding questions/proposed solutions to explore. The following is a list of suggestions that will help make this an excellent proposal:
- Change wording in the introduction from “clientele” to “students”
- Correcting the COVID-19 disease acronym
- Typing out numbers as opposed to using digits
- Exploring what makes teachers happy to come to work
- Incorporating the perspective of students on this issue
The above review and suggestions should help elevate this great proposal to an excellent one.
Elton Kok
Link to original Formal Report Proposal: Proposal for increasing teacher morale at TNS Beaconhouse, Pakistan by Syed Ahmed
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