To: Aleem Tariq, Team Member (Team Undefined)
From: Richard Chen, Peer Reviewer (Team Undefined)
Date: October 19, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Proposal – Proposal for the benefits of digitization at Harvest Project
Please see the comments below for the peer review of the proposal, “Proposal for the benefits of digitization at Harvest Project”.
First Impressions
The proposal addresses an interesting topic on data collection with a realistic solution that is applicable to your chosen organization, Harvest Project. However, there appears to be a mismatch between the proposal’s stated topic, and the content given the most focus in the proposal itself. This mismatch is further elaborated on below.
Overall Layout and Design
The proposal is well laid out and easy to read. No issues noted in this regard.
Introduction
The introduction is well formed and gives a good sense of the direction of the proposal based on the stated topic of digitization. However, this may need revision based on the comments below.
Statement of Problem
The Statement of Problem outlines Harvest Project’s supply chain and client satisfaction issues well, barring some points of clarification addressed in ‘Grammar & Clarification’ below.
While this section outlines some interesting issues, it does not appear to relate the issue of a lack of digitization to the root of the problems facing Harvest Project. Is a lack of digitization the primary reason Harvest Project has insufficient information in respect of client satisfaction or deliveries from stores? Based on the provided information, the primary issue appears to be a deficiency in questioning on existing client surveys, and a lack of data collection on delivery drivers altogether. Consider whether digitization is the root cause of the issue, or ancillary as a delivery method for these surveys.
Proposed Solution
As with the Statement of Problem, the solutions raised appear to be realistic and actionable. However, again the solution seems to be focused more on the content of the data collection (new client and delivery staff questions), rather than the online vs. paper survey delivery method.
Scope
The scope contains well defined lines of inquiries and is responsible in acknowledging that perhaps maintaining the status quo is the best solution.
Methods
The methods seem feasible and realistic. Further clarification on what “surveys written by clients and grocery/delivery workers” refers to would be beneficial. Does this mean filling out surveys for the purpose of this study, or creating survey questions to be implemented by Harvest Project?
Qualifications
No issues noted, the proposal writer appears to be well qualified to lead this study.
Intended Audience
The intended audience is consistent with the expectation that management would be implementing any recommendations.
Conclusion
If any changes are made based on the above feedback, adjust the conclusion to match. This section contains the first mention of digitization since the introduction.
Grammar and Clarification
Overall, the proposal was fine to read. There are a few additional points of clarification that would improve the overall quality of proposal:
Statement of Problem
- “Having worked in grocery” – What worked in grocery? Does this refer to the proposal writer’s personal experience working in grocery? Or does this refer to the use of paper surveys being successfully used in groceries?
- “when in delivery” – Provide more background the delivery aspect of the charity. This is the reader’s first encounter with delivery and it is a reoccurring topic in the proposal. Specify what is in delivery and to whom before this point, perhaps in the introduction.
- “Although there certainly was an emphasis on the type of goods that were needed and that one should donate, I think there is a tremendous opportunity for optimization that is being missed out on.” – This could be rewritten with an active voice for smoother delivery. Re-write: There is a tremendous opportunity for optimization despite the emphasis on the goods to be donated.
Concluding Comments
- The proposal has an interesting and realistic issue that can be addressed by actionable solutions.
- Reconsider whether the focus of the study should be on ‘digitization’ at Harvest Project or establishing more robust data collection techniques (surveys that capture the client/employee’s needs).
- If choosing to continue with digitization, justify why digitization directly addresses the issues Harvest Project faces, and why the lack of it is an issue. Otherwise, the proposal has a lot of promise, simply adjust the focus to match what the proposal is building up.
Aleem Tariq’s Formal Proposal: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2020wa/2020/10/14/research-proposal-for-formal-report-3/
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