To: Enguang Shi
From: Shuge Luo
Date: October 21, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Proposal – Proposal for Promoting EVCARD’s Electric Vehicles Rental Service to Users who Own Cars in Shanghai
First Impressions
This is an insightful proposal addressing the topic of the wide popularity of Electric Vehicles in Shanghai. Since rental services for electric cars started to be offered in my city as well, I found the issue that the proposal addressed was relevant to many cities in China. However, I want to comment on the proposed solution which focused on various ways of increasing the frequency of using rental cars among families that have their cars. I will expand this later.
Overall Layout and Design
The proposal is well laid out and easy to read.
Introduction
The introduction is well-formed and provides sufficient background to the targeted audience.
Statement of Problem
The statement highlights the potential issue that the car rental service marked as eco-friendly could eventually lead to an increment of the carbon emissions in Shanghai. This observation is supported by the date of the annual carbon contribution of this service.
While this section provides an interesting argument, the lack of explanation of why “EVCARD increases carbon emissions more than it reduces them” pushes readers to go back to the introduction section to find the answer. The convenience brought by the car rental service encourages people to go out than before, where the increase in driving produces more carbon for one of the most populated cities in the world.
It would a better choice to move the explanation for this problem in the introduction to this section.
Proposed Solution
The solution raised appears to be realistic but some of them may not be feasible in some situations especially in Shanghai. For example, free parking for electric cars will encourage car owners to go for rental cars, but the exemption of parking fees could bring some hardness to the interests of private park business owners. Besides, one of the major problems in Shang should be taking a large amount of time to find a parking spot. If you cannot find a parking spot near the place you are going, you would be disappointed by rental this car.
The advantages of renting a EVCARD that does not require additional car maintenance costs also courage those families without cars to rent them instead of go for public transport. The cost-effective perspective of EVCARD cannot support to solve the issue stated previously.
Scope:
The scope addresses valid lines of inquiry. However, families or individuals without their own cars should be taken into consideration as they consist of a large percentage of EVCARD users. The preference for public transport or rental cars should be measured.
Methods
Data from journals is a reliable source for addressing this problem. Personal interviews and surveys do help to further the issue in a broader age of social groups.
However, the service of the electric car was introduced to the public in recent years, thus there are not too many users especially around random parking lots. My suggestion is to target those who are interested in these services and at least heard of them before.
Qualifications
The writer is clearly well qualified to research this topic as Shanghai local citizens. Besides, the strong academic background in marketing helps him conduct the research on the new energy industry. As such, the writer has qualified academically and has a considerable amount of primary data sources to research a solution for this issue.
Intended Audience
Policymakers in the environment field would be very interested in this research.
Grammar
- “be paid attention” could rephrase to pay attention to the fact that
- “It is more convenient for them to go out, which in turn increases the possibility for them to go out” the word go out may be redundant.
Concluding Comments
The proposal is a very real-world issue that many cities in China are facing. The writer could come up with more effective and feasible solution to solve the problem and expand the scope of targeted users.
Enguang’s Formal Proposal: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2020wa/2020/10/14/research-proposal/
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