To: Mitchell Prost, ENGL 301 Student Writer
From: Amina Moustaqim-Barrette, ENGL 301 Student Reviewer
Date: October 21st, 2020
Subject: Peer review of your Proposal for the Formal Report
Hello Mitchell,
I have reviewed your formal report proposal and added some comments for your consideration below. As a former executive member of my undergraduate student union, I am familiar with the subject matter and of the problems that often arise in these contexts and executive structures. I have included a few comments and suggestions that you may want to think of incorporating into your proposal:
Initial impressions:
This proposal is very well organised, and provides a clear explanation of the subject, problem, and potential solutions. It is clear from reading the proposal that you have given this issue some thought and seriously considered potential avenues for improving student life and engagement. It is also great to see that the report and the recommendations that will result can be implemented directly given your involvement with the UBC Residence Hall Association (RHA).
Organisation:
This assignment is well laid-out and designed. The headings used made the document extremely clear and easy to follow, and the language used throughout the assignment was appropriate and accessible to readers. Generally, acronyms were defined and technical terms were explained. There were some small typos, issues of flow, and sentence structure that could be improved, which are detailed in the ‘Suggestions’ section below.
Suggestions:
Introduction: The introduction provides great background to the purpose, membership and workflow of the Residence Hall Association (RHA). The diagram was a great addition that helped considerably in visualising and understanding the RHA’s working structure. The introduction could be strengthened by providing more information about what role Residence Area Councils hold in relation to the RHA. Some other minor issues for your consideration:
- The acronym (UBC) should be added after right after the first mention of the University of British Columbia in the first sentence.
- The NRHH acronym should be spelled out when it first appears in the fourth sentence of the introduction
Statement of Problem: The statement of problem and scope of the issue was very well defined. One major consideration is to restructure the paragraph, so that an explanation of why RHA executive structure limits student engagement appears earlier on in the paragraph. I would perhaps reorganise the paragraph in the following way:
“A lack of engagement has profound effects on student success and their sense of belongingness within the university. The RHA exists to meet these needs, but its ability to reach and engage students is limited by its structure and current operations. This is especially true in relation to student living in on-campus housing during the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as in upper-year housing. Currently, the RHA’s organizational structure is outdated and does not allow for an effective flow of work, often leading to a lack of progress and growth in the organization year after year. There are several contributing structural factors. Firstly, marketing is a large consideration. How the RHA markets events and initiatives will directly impact how the RHA is engaging with students. From this, the organizational structure becomes more important when the question “who does the work?” is asked. These two issues, how the RHA engages with students and who does it, are the topics that this research proposal will explore.
Proposed Solution: The proposed solution to evaluate current literature and make evidence-informed decisions is a great one. One point to consider is that ‘systematic reviews’ generally describe a specific (and very long) research process; it would be better here to say that you plan to ‘review RHA’s current student engagement methods systematically’. I would also add your ‘potential suggestions’ as bullet points, rather than in a sentence format.
Scope: The proposed scope seems great and very feasible to accomplish within the timeframe. One point for consideration is using a different word or phrase to describe the idea of ‘market[ing]to students’, included in a few questions. Marketing usually involves selling something, and in this context the word ‘engagement’ might be more appropriate. For example, you could perhaps change question 1 to “What methods does the RHA currently use to engage its students?”. In question 6, ‘What areas that new positions could be created to improve the ability of the RHA to effectively engage and serve students’ could be edited to read ‘Which new positions could be created to improve the ability of the RHA to effectively engage and serve students?’.
Methods: This was a very thought-out section. It seems that the plan to conduct the research is thoughtfully considered and feasible. Looking back into archives is especially important, given the high turnover inherent to these types of organisations and the likelihood that the issue has been considered and worked on in previous years. One consideration would be to add your plan for survey distribution (by email, putting up posters, word-of-mouth?).
Qualifications: Thorough and convincing qualifications. One small typo to correct in the last sentence: ‘[..] I completed an 21-page feasibility report [..]’ should read ‘[..] I completed a 21-page feasibility report [..]’.
Conclusion: This section ends the report with a great summary of the proposal and a commitment to use the recommendations in an actionable way. There is one small typo in the second sentence that should be corrected: the word organization is spelt ‘organizaiton’.
Concluding thoughts: Overall, this proposal presents a concise and actionable plan to improve student life on UBC campus. I hope my recommendations will be useful to you as you begin to prepare your research project. Do not hesitate to contact me over the blog or at my email (aminamoustaqim377@gmail.com) if you have any questions or need clarification.
Amina Moustaqim-Barrette
301 Amina Moustaqim-Barrette peer review of Mitchell’s report proposal
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