Reviewer: Eugenia Fasciani, 301A Student, Writing Team Member, ‘Pencil Pack’
Reviewee: Hilton Ma, 301A Student, Writing Team Member, ‘Pencil Pack’
Date: November 4, 2020
Subject of the Peer Review: Peer Review of LinkedIn Profile Page
Thank you for taking the time to create a LinkedIn profile and for allowing me the opportunity to review your work. The LinkedIn profile is easy to follow and indicates some very impressive qualifications. Please see below for general comments and recommendations.
First Impressions
This is a good start to creating a robust and competitive LinkedIn profile. The profile flows nicely in terms of design and layout and does well in highlighting an interest in human kinetics. With regard to best practices, many of the relevant sections have been filled out, but the profile would benefit from additional details. The entire page has a solid foundation that can built upon at a later date.
Introduction
The introduction includes all relevant information, including full name, geographical location, and indicates the reviewee’s current job title (i.e. student at UBC). The inclusion of a 400 pixels by 400 pixels headshot photo is highly encouraged in order to attract potential employers. An appropriate profile picture can be modeled after a passport photo, where the subject’s face and shoulders are facing the camera and are clearly visible.
Summary
The ‘About’ section features a three-paragraph summary outlining the reviewee’s personal interests and academic background. The summary presents the reviewee in a personable and professional light, while touching on the reviewee’s passion for human kinetics. The summary is ‘eye-catching’ as it begins with a story about how the reviewee switched their academic focus after a period of self-reflection. In order to remain concise, the summary would benefit from being condensed into two paragraphs. Additionally, this section could be improved upon with an inclusion of skills and personal assets that the reviewee has acquired over the years.
Background and experiences
The profile is chronologically organized by the most recent positions held and all relevant details pertaining to the role (i.e. job title, organization, dates, and location) are included. That being said, the details provided are sparse and would benefit from minor revisions. There are no relevant volunteer experiences listed yet, which may be helpful in building the overall profile. The reviewee would benefit from providing a short description of the roles outlined and key responsibilities that were undertaken. Specific examples with regard to accomplishments in these roles could go a long way in making a good first impression with a potential employer. These specific examples can be modelled around action statements and numeric values that highlight what the reviewee brought to the organization. For example, ‘I raised $3000 CAD,’ or ‘I increased sales by 10%.’
Education
The education section is filled out well and indicates a strong commitment to academic advancement on the part of the reviewee. All relevant credentials earned from accredited schools are listed in chronological order with dates provided. This portion of the profile correctly outlines the degree level and area of study acquired thus far. A suggestion would be to include a corresponding grade point average, in the event that it would appear impressive to potential employers.
Licenses and certifications
The first aid certificate acquired by the reviewee was distributed by a reputable organization and is still valid as indicated by the expiry date on the profile. No further recommendations are offered with regard to this section.
Skills and endorsements
No specific skills or endorsements are included as part of the reviewee’s LinkedIn profile. It would be useful to include at least 5 of the reviewee’s strongest skills that specifically relate to the program of study. Once the profile has been built further, the reviewee can seek out endorsements from colleagues and supervisors that can speak to specific skills.
Accomplishments
The ‘Accomplishments’ section is off to a strong start and is relevant to the reviewee’s area of interest as outlined in the summary section. 22 courses that are listed ranging from biomechanics to nutrition, which indicates different areas of expertise. The inclusion of what is presumably a prestigious scholarship is a smart choice; consider including the date that the Deputy Vice-Chancellor Scholarship was awarded for added context. Under ‘Projects,’ UBC 2030 Competition is included, however, it is unclear what this project is all about. Consider providing additional details about the reason that this project is featured in the profile. This section paints the reviewee in a flattering light, and additional details will help to elevate the overall profile.
Grammar and spelling
No significant spelling or grammatical errors are noted. The summary in the ‘About’ section would benefit from being condensed into a single paragraph and can be revised to avoid the use of the repeated words (e.g. “love” is used twice in the last paragraph). The reviewee generally does a good job of presenting complex material in a digestible manner.
Conclusion
The LinkedIn profile page is on the right track. With some additional edits made to certain sections of the profile, it will easily stand out to employers and other LinkedIn users. Below is a summary of the recommendations presented in this peer review:
- Consider adding a profile photo following the specifications previously outlined above
- Add a background photo to compliment the profile photo
- Include skills/assets/career objectives to the ‘About’ section
- Condense summary into a single paragraph and consider eliminating any repeated words
- Add volunteer experiences (if applicable)
- Include brief job descriptions and include key responsibilities
- Use specific examples in the form of action statements and measurable metrics in order to highlight accomplishments pertaining to each job
- List grade point averages for degrees/diplomas acquired
- Incorporate least 5 skills that relate to career objectives and seek endorsements in order to help build the profile
- Clarify the relevance and dates of projects
- Consider joining groups and following organizations that are of interest in order to grow networking capabilities
Overall, this is a good LinkedIn profile as it gives me a better sense of who you are. Hopefully these suggestions help you to develop your LinkedIn profile and grow your online presence. Happy networking!
Hilton’s Profile Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hiltonma/
Eugenia’s Template Link: 301- Eugenia Fasciani – LinkedIn Peer Review Template
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