To: Shujun Peng, ENGL 301 Team Bloomers Member
From: Ishaan Vora,
Date: November 9, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of LinkedIn Profile
Thank you for sharing your LinkedIn Profile! Following is my feedback on your professional platform
Initial Impressions:
I gained a great sense of your achievements as well as your education tenure. You have given a vivid insight on IDST and what intended major you’re pursuing. Overall, it’s a good job.
Quality and Appropriateness of Profile Photo:
Your profile picture is sophisticated and professional. An appropriate and good selection for a picture!
Effectiveness of Summary:
Your summary is apt in portraying your experiences and aids in building a good communicative profile for your audience. This section certainly adds value to your profile.
Consideration of Audience:
You have employed a universal tone that is appropriate for a professional audience; it’s warm, specific, and coherent.
Use of Keywords:
While reading your experiences at UBC and at DARUNFA SL, I got a clear sense of how were/are a contributing factor to those communities. One recommendation would be to add a sentence or two that allow your audience to understand what you gained from these experiences and how they polish a certain skill in you using keywords. Verbs at the start of sentences help this process in articulating your contribution in a more effective manner.
Education:
You have clearly shown your educational background with no issues in understanding them.
Other Sections:
I would recommend you have another section for volunteering. While I see it in your experiences section under UBC, I believe it is of great importance and should stand out on its own in a new section. These sections are greatly emphasized by employers and professionals and therefore your profile would stand out with the employment in this new section
Grammar and Punctuation:
In your ‘About’ section, there are a few syntax and grammatical errors. They do not hinder the essence of your profile but working on them would definitely polish your profile for potential employers
Concluding Comments:
Overall, your profile is clear and professional. Your experiences are effective and communicate your passion in accordance with your major. I do believe that with the recommendations I have provided, your LinkedIn would further vividly highlight your achievements and allow you to better represent yourself to employers and the public.
Thank you for submitting your profile! If you have any questions, please do write back to me.
Sincerely,
Ishaan Vora.
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