To: Barton Lui, Student of ENGL 301 99A
From: Jessica Lee, Student of ENGL 301 99A
Date: November 21st, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Barton Lui’s Writing with You-Attitude Memorandum
I had a fun time reading your tips and advice on how to write better emails to professors asking for assistance. Please kindly find below some thoughts and suggestions I have for your memo.
First Impression
The overall format looks neat and the content seems to be concise as well as informative. The tips and advices appear to cover all aspects of writing a professional email which is great.
Organization
The organization is clean and adopts the correct formatting of a memo. However, please consider removing the paragraph spacing for the top section of the memo between lines “To:”, “From:”, “Date:”, and “Subject”. It is not necessary and creates an awkward space between lines.
Content
The content covers all of the major concerns with Evan Crisp’s email. Kindly find below some further suggestions:
- Include a tip for how to correctly format and organize a professional email
- For the last bullet point, provide an example for what a professional email ending will look like or include.
- Include your email address or contact information at the end of the memo so it’s easier for Evan to follow-up should he have any questions.
Grammar and Spellings
The memo is well-written with the use of professional language. Please find below a few recommendations:
- Add “the” before “feedback” in the first line of the introduction
- Either finish the sentence for the second bullet point or consider removing the word “and”.
- For the third bullet point, replace “displaying annoyance” with “display annoyed” so it reads “do not display annoyed behavior towards the professor”.
- For the sixth bullet point, add speech marks around “ttfn” as it is directly quoted from Evan’s email. Feel free to replace the comma after “ttfn” with either a dash or a full stop.
All in all, this is a great memo that should definitely help Evan with drafting a more professional email. I hope the above suggestions help and should you have further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Hypelink to Barton Lui’s Writing With You-Attitude Memo: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2020wa/2020/11/20/barton-lui-assignment-3-1-writing-with-you-attitude-email-memorandum/
Leave a Reply