To: Hilton Ma, ENGL 301A Student
From: Claire Eccles, ENGL 301A Student
Date: November 23, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Writing with You-Attitude Assignment
Thank you for your memorandum of thoughtful recommendations directed towards Evan Crisp. Your suggestions will be helpful for any upcoming emails he must type up. The following are a few comments to review for future use.
First Impressions
All points were laid out well, with the use of bold emphasizing the first word that would set the tone for the rest of the comment. The memo was short, however it provided important and concise points for Evan to consider.
Writing Style & Suggestions
There is a clear understanding that the most important member of the exchange is the reader of the email. Knowing this demonstrates a key idea of the YOU-attitude. Well done restricting the amount of times “you” was used, not making Evan feel singled out. Replacing “-ing” words in the bold lettered statements makes the tone of the suggestions feel less like a command. Incorporating those words with the use of “-ing” will create a prominent YOU-attitude writing style.
Grammar
In the fifth bullet point, the word usage seems unfitting. Use seems better, but as I am not a grammar whiz, this article may clear up which one would work better https://pediaa.com/difference-between-use-and-usage/.
Concluding Remarks
Overall, there was a strong idea of how to improve Evan’s email format and writing style. The most important remark would be reconsidering the use of “-ing” words as opposed to imperatives. If you wish to discuss anything further, feel free to contact me at claire.eccles4@gmail.com.
Link to Hilton Ma’s memorandum to Evan Crisp: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2020wa/2020/11/21/assignment-3-1-writing-with-you-attitude-memo-to-evan-crisp/
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