Assignment 3:1 Peer Review of Writing with Attitude assignment

To: Shuge Luo
From: Enguang Shi
Date: November 21th, 2020
Subject: LinkedIn Profile Peer Review

Hello Shuge,

Thank you for submitting your email memo to Evan Crisp demonstrating best practices in writing emails to professors. This is a well-organized and excellent email memo. The following are some suggestions you can refer to for improving your email.

First Impression:

Your email demonstrates good use of “You attitude” by clearly showing the tips for best practices. Your use of bullet-points for each of your tips conveys your ideas of what’s needed to be adjusted in Evan’s email concisely. The introduction and conclusion parts show a professional attitude without being too critical.

Tips for writing to professors:

The tips you provided are typical methods of applying the “You attitude” when writing to a professor. For the third bullet-point, it is a bit unclear to me what you are suggesting by “using a general tone”. For the sixth bullet-point, it seems a little repetitive with the third one. Detailing both of them by referring to different aspects will allow a clearer understanding of what is being suggested. Overall, the tips you specified are well-targeted to the places that need to be improved in composing emails.

Grammar:

There are nearly no grammatical mistakes except this one:

• For the fifth and the seventh tips, there should be a “the” before the word “audience” and “professor”

Writing Style:

Your writing is easily understandable by the reader. Without using imperative verbs, your email has a friendly tone without showing condescension. At the same time, the best practices are clear-stated and well-directed.

Conclusion:

Your demonstration of applying the “You attitude” is great. It will be even better after some revisions and fixing some minor errors.

• Rewording some tips for a clearer demonstration.
• Correcting some small grammar mistakes.

It has been a pleasure to read your email memo. I hope that my comments can provide help. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me.