Reviewer’s Name: Quentin Michalchuk
Author’s Name: Eugenia Fasciani
Date: November 23rd, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Memorandum for Evan Crisp
Hello Eugenia,
Thank you for the insightful memorandum for Evan Crisp. It is both well-organized and concise, providing Evan Crisp salient information for improving his emails. Please find a review of this memorandum below.
Initial Impressions
The memorandum is well-written, however could flow even smoother. The initial statement sufficiently introduces the reader to the ‘You-Attitude’, easing the transition into the bulleted list of suggestions. The proposed solution is realistic and addresses the immediate issue, and the claims of the scope and methods of the report are honest and supportable. Detail is appropriate and research into the different technologies available will provide more clarity in this regard. With some editing, the report may be powerfully persuasive.
Suggestion List
Overall, the suggestion list would allow for an effective email, even advising for future correspondence. Each bulleted point is labelled clearly with a bolded present participle, ensuring ease of reading. The ‘You Attitude’ is clearly followed, with tips focused on the reader and their needs, avoiding the use of imperative verbs as to not diminish Evan Crisp.
The list is relatively thorough, although some suggested modifications include the following:
- Ensuring the email itself is academic in nature (this may be placed under the bullet beginning with “Using”)
- Merging the two points that begin with “incorporating” and “making”, as they are essentially focused around a similar topic
- Perhaps suggesting limiting the use of imperatives and the pronoun “you” in an email to sound less demanding or accusatory (this may be included in the merged “incorporating” and “making” tip)
Grammar and Spelling
In addition to the suggestions above, the following grammatical errors have been identified:
- The bulleted suggestion beginning with “making”: The last sentence should have “by” instead of “be”.
Overall Impressions/Concluding Comments
This document is polished, detailing potential avenues of email improvement that Evan Crisp may pursue. The memorandum is logically structured, capturing virtually all aspects of an effective email. The following is a list of suggestions can further improve the content:
- Ensuring an academic email address
- Merging similar tips
- Suggesting avoiding imperatives and the pronoun “you”
- Fixing the single grammatical error
This review can guide revisions for a flawless final copy. Please do not hesitate to reach me at michalchukq@alumni.ubc.ca for further correspondence.
Best,
Quentin Michalchuk
Link to the original Memorandum Assignment: Assignment 3.1: Memo to Evan Crisp Demonstrating ‘You Attitude’
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