To: Quentin Michalchuk, ENGL 301A Student
From: Eugenia Fasciani, ENGL 301A Student
Date: November 23, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Writing with ‘You Attitude’ Assignment
Thank you for putting together such a well-organized list of suggestions for Mr. Crisp to review. Below are some comments and suggestions that are expected as part of the peer review process that may be helpful for future assignments.
Introduction
Nice job beginning the memorandum with something other than a pronoun. The tone is friendly and provides a space to easily engage with the information presented. The introduction is also concise and to the point.
Writing Style
The expository writing style used in this memorandum is appropriate given the topic and assignment instructions. Criticism is framed in such a way that fits within the guidelines of the ‘You Attitude’ writing technique. The use of imperative verbs has been avoided and correctly replaced with ‘ing’ verbs. The suggestions offered are rational, positive and demonstrate approaching things from a different point of view.
This memorandum would benefit from taking out or limiting the number of times ‘people’ are referenced in the body of the work. For instance, ‘the professor’ is used several times throughout the list of suggestions. One approach would be to rewrite some of the bulleted points in order to accomplish this. For example:
Before: “Using a professional email – This is imperative in gaining the trust of the professor. If the email is identifiable to the professor (e.g. a school email), it is more likely the professor will feel obligated to reply.”
After: “Using a professional email – This is imperative in gaining the trust from the reader and makes the email more identifiable (e.g. a school email), thereby increasing the likelihood of receiving a response.”
Grammar
The memorandum is free from spelling and grammatical mistakes.
Conclusion
The objective of this assignment is to demonstrate a ‘You Attitude’ with the goal to assist the reader on learning to focus on the positives and framing criticisms in a productive manner. Including a sentence that encapsulates this notion would be helpful.
Overall, this is a well-crafted memorandum that does a good job of highlighting the ‘You Attitude’ technique. Following the tips mentioned above will go a long way in strengthening the recommendations presented in this piece of writing. If you have any further questions, please feel free to email me at: e.fasciani@alumni.ubc.ca.
Link to Quentin Michalchuk’s Assignment: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2020wa/2020/11/20/assignment-31-writing-with-you-attitude-evan-crisp/
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