Assignment 3-1 – Peer Review of Claire’s Writing with Attitude Assignment

To:                    Claire Eccles

From:              Hilton Ma

Date:               November 23, 2020

Subject:          Peer Review of Claire’s Writing with Attitude Assignment

Hi Claire,

You’ve made a great list of tips for improving emails addressed to professors. Please find my comments are suggestions below.

First Impressions:

The initial impression from your memorandum was that it contained a helpful list of writing practices that would drastically improve Evan Crisp’s emails to professors. It is well organized, and has a great use of the “You Attitude”. With some alterations, the memorandum could be further polished.

Tone:

A fantastic incorporation of the ‘You Attitude’ tone was clearly demonstrated with this memorandum. I have no suggestions that would improve this aspect.

Content:

The list contains effective and pragmatic suggestions that would improve Evan’s email skills. The memorandum is organized in a neat manner that follow the format of introduction, list of writing tips, and conclusion – complete with appropriate underlining and bullet points for ease of the reader. There is a suggestion below to improve flow and remove unnecessary confusion for the reader.

• In the second line of the concluding statement, change “Considering the reader” to “Consideration of the reader”. This alteration would remove confusion stemming from misinterpretation of the original.

Grammar/Typos:

Within the memorandum, I have noted some potential changes that pertain to grammatical and spelling errors.

• In the last line of the introduction, a comma is missing after “practices”.
• There is a run-on sentence in the fourth tip, “Check to see the email is formatted properly and without spelling mistakes, it displays effort and care went into drafting the message”. This can be solved by replacing the comma with a period and the “it” with “this”.
• In the sixth tip, a comma is missing after “choose”.
• In the seventh tip, “enrol” is spelled incorrectly and missing a “l”.
• The eighth tip is a run-on sentence similar to the fourth tip. Replacing the comma after “point” can resolve this issue.

Concluding Comments:

Overall, the memorandum was helpful and displayed an impressive mastery of the “You attitude” concept. Key aspects to improve the document pertain to eliminating grammatical and spelling errors.

This was a great list of tips. Feel free to contact me for further discussion on the issue.