TO: Nicholas Jang, ENGL 301 99A Student
FROM: Jessica Lee, ENGL 301 99A Student
SUBJECT: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft
DATE: December 6, 2020
Hi Nicholas,
Thank you for submitting this first draft, I have enjoyed reading about how UBC CVC can increase its membership base! Below you may find a few comments that could further improve the formal report.
First impression:
- The structure and organization of the report look great with relevant titles and subtitles above each section.
Table of Contents:
- The table of contents is well-formatted and split into appropriate categories
- The Microsoft Office’s built-in table of contents feature allows this section to update automatically and reduces the possibility of making a mistake here.
- For clarity purposes, perhaps change the title “Contents” to “Table of Contents”
Introduction:
- The introduction provides an informative overview of what the UBC CVC does and lists the benefits of joining the UBC CVC which is a great start to the report.
- Avoid any information the reader already knows such as when the UBC CVC was founded and how many UBC CVC members there are.
- It would be best if the “UBC” acronym and “CVC” acronym are explained and written in its full name at its’ first use for the reader’s clarity.
Statement of Problem:
- This section clearly identifies the core problem UBC CVC is currently facing. By listing out questions that should be answered, readers get an idea of what they are expecting from this report.
- Would recommend blending the “Statement of Problem” section into the “Introduction” section or making it a sub-section of the Introduction since it is the main idea that readers should learn about right as they start reading the report.
Methodology:
- The methodology covers all relevant information regarding the process of collecting primary data. Very well done here!
- Not too sure if a methodology is required in a formal report – perhaps double-check with Dr. Paterson and/or the textbook.
Results:
- The results section has each sub-section clearly labeled, ensuring readability.
- Great use of graphics in supporting the content!
- Would recommend polishing the labels of graphics so it demonstrates exactly what the graphic is showing. For example, for Figure 2 put “No. of clubs students are in” instead of “Club involvement”.
Discussion:
- The discussion is well-formatted with detailed information. Specific terms are defined (i.e. maturity stage) which provides clarity to readers.
- Would recommend adding visuals here to guide readers through the content.
Conclusion
- The conclusion is concise but should be separated into two parts – Summary and Recommendations.
- The Summary should be a concise overview of the findings of the report’s body section.
- Recommendations should then be suggestions based off of the findings/summary.
- It would be ideal if the conclusion could tie back to the questions that are mentioned in the statement of problem.
Grammar and Expression
- Acronyms should be explained at their earliest use in the report to ensure readability and clarity for the readers.
- Please replace “in person” with “in-person”
- In the Conclusion, the sentence “As an established club on campus CVC should take measures to ensure its membership levels” should have a comma in between “campus” and “CVC”.
- Try to stick to the present tense throughout the report as it is an ongoing investigation.
All in all, a great report and I am looking forward to reading the finished version. Please feel free to let me know should you have any questions regarding my comments by emailing at jessicalee6688@yahoo.com
Thank you!
Jessica
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