Assignment 3:3 Peer Review of Formal Report

MEMORANDUM
To: Aleem Tariq, Team Undefined Member
From: Richard Chen, Team Undefined Member
Date: Dec 8, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report

Thank you for completing the ‘Proposal for addressing the necessity of students in the Life Sciences pursuing additional Computing background’ formal report in a timely manner. Enclosed below is feedback which may prove useful in the final draft of the report.

First Impressions

The report is a great start to a stellar formal report. Each section has a clearly defined idea and helps drive the point of the report forward towards a conclusion. Condensing some of the expressed ideas to keep the points concise would help with the overall quality of the report. In particular, this would apply to the Introduction and Summary of Findings.

Introduction

• Good use of reputable sources to back up claims in the introduction. The sources are referenced in the Work Cited appropriately.
• Condensing the main ideas expressed in the second and third paragraph into a single paragraph would increase the report’s readability. Paragraph two lays foundation for why post-secondary institutions are obligated to prepare their students for the future. Paragraph three relates the obligation specifically to computation and technology. Combining the last sentence of the second paragraph and first sentence of the third keeps the report to the point.

Overview of Problem and Purpose of Report

• Short and to the point with enough of a description to indicate to the reader the areas of focus of the report.
• Replacing the word ‘insufficient’ in the second paragraph would improve the connotation implied towards the reader. Keeping a “YOU-Attitude” when providing advice or speaking about institutions related to the reader assists in preventing the reader from being offended.

Methods and Scope

• The method section accurately captures the data collection techniques employed in the creation of the formal report.
• The scope outlines interesting questions that push the report’s topic forward.

Data Summary

• The data section has simple graphs that communicate the survey results effectively.
• Center aligning the graphs would assist in the visual presentation of the report. Additionally, there is a small period out of place next to Figure 2.
• The separation of the Data Section into distinct topics assist in communicating the overall importance of each survey question.
• Overall, this section appropriately conveyed survey findings without overreaching into the Summary of Findings and Recommendations sections.

Summary of Findings

• The main focus of the findings was clearly stated at the beginning, reminding readers of the purpose of the data collection.
• Drawing a conclusion after the quote in paragraph two will help clarify to readers the purpose of including the quote or its importance.
• Rewording the last line of the Summary of Findings would improve readability and create a lasting point the reader can remember.
  • Before: There is no doubt that obtaining a skillset in Computing is a significant return on investment for a student in the Life Sciences. Such a student will not only be able to more proficiently work with data, but also approach existing problem domains in novel ways, and remain relevant given the anticipated changes expected in the field.
  • Rewrite: A Life sciences student skilled in computing will be adaptable to changes in the field, and solve existing problem domains with novel, data-driven techniques.

Recommendations

• The recommendations are written appropriately in bullet point format to be easily digested by the reader.
• Each recommendation appears to be a realistic measure that is within the authority of the intended reader.
• Elaborating more on the potential effects of each recommendation if put into place may lend the recommendations more credibility.

Works Cited

• References appear to be appropriate and correct. No improvements required.

Grammar

• Introduction, paragraph 2 – “As per the institution’s role” – Institution should have an apostrophe to indicate the possessive form.

Concluding Comments

The report provides a compelling reason as for why the Life Sciences program should consider placing more emphasis on imbuing its students with computing knowledge. The recommendations appear to be based on sound data collection techniques. As stated above, focusing on the following main points would improve the formal report:

• Keeping paragraphs short and to the point to improve readability.
• Maintaining a positive tone as to avoid offending the reader.

If you have any questions regarding the feedback provides, please feel free to contact me at richard.chen@ualberta.ca.

Aleem Tariq’s Draft Report